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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Dreamt of Herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edthepoet
    ASL Info:    47-m-Pa
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 1476/991/125
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1439
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1275



    Description:
       This was the dream I had last night


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Dreamt of Herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I Dreamt of Her

    Last night, drifting from one dream to another
    In search of this whimsical, virtuous woman
    blended with intelligent and sensual cravings

    Suddenly, the lantern shined on her
    Why her?
    Then, these words escape her tender lips

    Darling, though you listed many requests
    I know the real truth of what you so desire
    For I am the chosen trustee of your deepest thoughts

    One can only imagine the burden you have carried after
    Years and years of nowhere to lay your head
    Its time to rest your ego and give me your
    fears, tears and your shameful history

    I need not swear that I am your definitive vault
    Your heart, soul and logic already know the truth
    Juxtapose against all the other women
    who said they were

    As the sunlight lifted my lids, these profound words came forth
    You know its true love when you canít decide
    Which is more enjoyable?
    Waking up next to her or kissing her goodnight

    Edward K. Deputy














    Submitted on 2005-02-12 08:49:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Awwww! I really enjoyed reading this poem! It was intriguing and romantic with an unexpected ending! How lovely it is to know that you dream of the woman that lays beside you! How touching that she is all you want and need even in the dream state. The last two lines of this are just perfect! This is a great write! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      What a lovely poem...It made a lot of sense, although i bet it would of made more if I was a man and older. But well from my point of view it is good, and I like how you coordinated the verses...great work and as usual, great job...KEEP on being a great poet.
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by Lauren Guzman | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this is certainly sweet and romantic,and yet it's not all fluff and sugar hearts, containing a healthy measure of truth and insight. An original way of saying the grass is always greener,-or finding the pot of gold in your own back yard. I liked the dream sequence, -it has a soothing, nurturing tone to it, and yet doesn't give away the surprise ending. I liked the dream-woman's words here. "I need not swear that I am your definitive vault".-our dreams usually hold the answers to our daytime puzzles and wishes, and here this woman speaks what you already knew , locked away in your heart.
    The only little nit i have is, shouldn't there be a comma after the first instance of "words" in this bit?-
    "these words profound words came forth-". (Alos I thought the might be missing a "d" on juxtapose,-for some reason I think the tense shoud agree with "said")

    The last stanza is excellent, and one that all partners in healthy realtionships will agree to. We all have day dreams and fantasies, but if you are truly happy and only have the question posed there to answer, then you are a lucky mate.

    Well Done
    Sally
    | Posted on 2005-04-07 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      This must be about someone you have known for a while but you're not sure whether or not you should tell her. Tell her and let her know that you care about her that much. You owe it to yourself to fall in love. I like it by the way. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
      Another great poem. Yes, I think you're a romantic.. not only in love but about life in general. This says to me that you are speaking of the woman that's been beside you all along. I could be wrong about that.. I'm just now learning to read between the lines of poems, so to speak.
    I like this .. it says to me that we sometimes dream of having that perfect love.. and one day "wake up" and "see" that we've had it all along.. Perfect in the sense that the love is real.. maybe not as we dreamed it.. but it's there.. and we are blessed to have it.
    What gives me this feeling is the line "Why her?" and then her reply "For I am the chosen trustee of your deepest thoughts" (the one YOU chose to share your life with) ... and this... "Its time to rest your ego..." ( lol). I'll leave that one alone.

    If I'm wrong in all this then I'll say it's because poems are like art.. Each reader sees what they feel while reading it.

    At any rate, it made me feel good. :)

    Take Care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful write. You are correct in the thought that we do not always recognize love at first because it does not fit all of our prerequisites. However I think that you are right about not being able to know which is better = going to sleep or waking up with someone- you just know that you want them both. Hope you get what you want. Love, Lynn
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      Ed, another beautiful love poem from you. Very nice flow here. Just one thing that had me a little confused. The first line of the last stanza, did you mean to put in these words profound words came forth or did you just want "these profound words"? I was kinda wondering about that, easy reading on a Saturday afternoon, Carol
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this. It's really a sweet sentimental kind of poem I really enjoy reading. I'm not sure if I would change anything. I especially liked the ending

    As the sunlight lifted my lids, these words profound words came forth
    You know its true love when you canít decide
    Which is more enjoyable?
    Waking up next to her or sleeping on her chest

    I found myself hoping as I read this part that I find that. My wish for you is that you hold on to it. Not too tight, you don't want it to break, but enough. Good Luck.
    Blessed be.
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
      "For I am the chosen trustee of your deepest thoughts". I adore this line... this is so extremely poetic and poignant. Almost as if an eternal truth is spoken - something decided before the beginning of time and destined to happen against all human odds. Absolutely beautiful poem!
    | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      The last stanza is incredible.
    It really takes a deeper look at love, the characters being aware of everything, and knowing each other to the depths of their souls...
    I also like how the character is aware of his dreams and the "drifting" through them. Lots of us drift through dreams, but without a purpose. This character is needy in a way, but seems to be dreaming to acomplish something.
    The woman in this poem seems almost fantastical, while he is full of faults, she is awknowledged as faultless, and really, when you fall in love, you accept those things, so love is really what they have accomplished...

    Phenomenal piece.
    -Ann
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. It was very deep. Understood, but deep, still needing to think about it. Very original, no famous poetry I've ever seen is in that. But...Very nice. I like it a lot. Every line sent shivers through me. Very well written.
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Blaith Hawthen | [ Reply to This ]


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