she's chemical light
brushed over in whispers
the sunlight exclaimed
from its bag on the floor
these knots she tied well
in daisy chain tethers
i'd break if i'd only
the heart left to spend
her season's in fashion
a front page confession
a hollywood bribe
set to comatose waltz
we're heavy betrothed
to IV addiction
the sweet sickly drip
of summer so warm
Wow. This is such a beautifully written piece. I think I must steal the phrase *daisy chain tethers*, lol. Just kidding. You can formulize such exquisite combinations of detailed words to place in your poetry. The opening line was a great deliver into the piece. "she's chemical light" - We all know this girl. We all see that certain victim, set in her "comatose waltz", vision blocked by her addictions, drawn to the darkness in vanity. It's sad, beauty can take turns to throw a girl to the misery of it all. I do believe, as humans, we are addicted to beauty, even in all of its falsities. Each person has his own definition of what is beautiful, but we all have the same general ideals. Anyway, this was a wonderful write. You use such eloquent language, and the structure is loose enough for easy reading. I think you should try reading this one at a poetry slam. It's got a great rhythm to it. ^_^
I love how you twist the language to paint your emotions so vividly. By the way, it's all chemical light once our brains are interpreting the visual input for us! But I understand what you mean, very nice, Dave
where do you get all these words? they all seem so new and fresh. you're ahead of the curve. very gavin rossdale teeth gritting lyrics over a noisy guitar:)
sigh...i love this ...its written so beautifully...its tender and delicate...i hope you add more to this it would be a beautiful song...i can imagine your voice singing this...though softly...maybe a nice simple guitar and keyboard...now the meaning behind this hmmn...well i see this beautiful girl full of life of hope ...just filled with everything...but you have nothing left nothing left to give atleast you feel this way...and your saying if you did it would be for her...or i'm wrong...lol...who knows...your writes alwaysseem so open for interpatation...i could think of several other things you could of been thinking...it just seemsthe stand point of the person saying thishas had his heart broken so manytimes why try agian...even if this is diffrent...why put energy in to not knowing ...and i love the title thats what initially made me want to read it and i'm glad i did because if a very wonderful piece...purps
Submission Name: ultraviolet Intravenous
