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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Distancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DontSaveMySoul
    ASL Info:    20/m/cali
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 194/184/42
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 352
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 534



    Description:
       about my love being so far from me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDistancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her life adorns my neck
    My pride hangs from hers
    Yet these reminders of our unity
    Make our distance seem so far

    That distance makes me yearn
    Desire for her touch so soft
    Long for her embrace so warm
    Beg for her kiss so tender

    That distance makes me apreciate
    Treasure her every touch
    Value the sound of her voice
    Love her every kiss

    I would give anything
    If I could reduce the distance
    No further than arms reach




    Submitted on 2005-02-12 21:16:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I know exactly that feeling, too bad the one i love wants nothing to do with me, even a thousand would be too close to him it seems, idk. Anyway, excellent, you made it sound so sweet and nice and just...perfect. I doubt anyone else would be able to capture what you did.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      I especially liked the last stanza:
    'I would give anything
    If I could reduce the distance
    No further than arms reach'
    It is a very simple, but powerful manner to end the poem and clearly make your point. I always enjoy using that technique.
    And hey! Hang in there! You know what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I can tell from this poem that it's true.
    | Posted on 2005-02-13 00:00:00 | by Leila | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, that was good. It kinda reminded me of when I almost had a long distance relationship. You capture a very desperate-for-his-woman guy and I like that you could do that so simply. Keep up the good work!
    ~Paco!
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by Paconess1006 | [ Reply to This ]
      i just have to say AWWW that is so sweet! i wish a guy would rwrite me a poem like that! but anyway hehe i loved it! very nice! fav part
    That distance makes me apreciate
    Treasure her every touch
    Value the sound of her voice
    Love her every kiss

    thats so sweet! she is a lucky girl to have a guy that cares about her so much..
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by Caroline_19 | [ Reply to This ]



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