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    dots Submission Name: Alien Dreamdots

    Author: Rokhal
    ASL Info:    21, f, USA NW
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 85/71/18
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1541
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2316

       Morbid fascinations. We all want to be crazy...

    Do you care, or did I just gross you out?
    If you're not honest, I might write more of this.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlien Dreamdots

    taptaptaptap-taptaptap-taptap-tap(fast as Rain
    the footsteps           
    Light                   That sweet curve
    on steel               oaken snake rearing in a white bucket
    Inhuman              or a skink clamped to my thumb
    cold                     his curling gloss-black tail
    Intelligence          mucoid sheen of rabbit ribs
    of                        under a sun-cured shell
    Mine                          but I never retch.
    to               I hear the rattle of claws on grates
    kill               death, not birds
                       I bare my blunt teeth in a tablespoon
                       dream liquid curves, perfection
                       Hear the claws
                       the dribbling
                       but it is only rain.

    Submitted on 2005-02-12 22:23:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Your layout is once again daring and unrestrained. I loved the statement in your description that "we all want to be crazy..." which I think might be the most honest, unassuming statement I've ever read regarding the human imagination.

    I think Shanu got pretty close to what this is about so refer to his (her?) comment for my analysis.

    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoy the different kind of lay out you used but i really don't understand where it's coming from but i guess thats the point but i do like it! I would like to read a few more by you now though! pan
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by pandora22 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. I experimented with some weird layout similar to this..
    this was good though.. the left side was kindof the alien i think.. And the right side was you or your imagination..
    um this is just my guess but, im thinking.. that.. this is just one of those random processes of thought that goes through your head sometimes.. (especially someone with a big imagination) like when your sitting at the breakfast table.. and you hear some noises on the roof.. ionstantly your mind just goes into overdrive and conjures up all these images.. could it be any alien? could it be a bird? could it be rain?.. then your conciousness kicks in and you figure out its only rain.. (or is it?)

    This was cool.. and different.. you described the alien well.. when I think of aliens I always think of "the" alien (the movie) thats modern culture for you.. but your alien made me imagine the same type of alien.. *shiver*

    "game over man.. game over"

    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]
      Not grossed out, but fascinated by your word play and your experimentation with layout. Your poem is like the finger exercises a young pianist undertakes in order to play the great symphonies later in her life.
    | Posted on 2005-02-13 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is a very interesting form of layout and it is interesting to read. At first I thought well this is gonna be kinda strange to read, but after all it is an alien dream.
    So considering that, I think it is constructed very well and is a good work.
    I do think this is a first for me to see one written in this fashion.
    I don't know what it is about this site but, seems like there a lot of people that like to look and possibly read but just can't bring themselves to comment. Sad in a way I think.
    I enjoyed reading your poem,
    Keep it up...
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I like what you did with th elayout of this piece although I am not to sure what you are talking about. I read this poem after I saw your message on the shoutbox page. I can't relate because I don't understand it. It made me feel like some sort of vampire type ritual was going on. Not a big fan of gothic writings.
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]

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