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    dots Submission Name: Condescending Vertigodots

    Author: majinkenshinamv
    ASL Info:    20/M/Vegas
    Elite Ratio:    7.28 - 70/50/13
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 988
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 951

       Just a really old thing I wrote that I thought I'd put up until I write something new. Slam it or whatever you want, I'll listen.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCondescending Vertigodots

    The sky looked like an elementary school drawing
    The colors that you only see when kids mix every crayon in their box together.
    And everything was out of the lines.
    The air was filled with your perfume.
    And while we were flying
    My eyes were still crying
    While yours held the iridescence of the moon.

    I watched as my shoes hit the ground
    Followed by water splashing up on your gown
    We stood in that rain
    Avoiding the pain
    My destiny to watch you drown

    Today I woke up and the grass wasn’t green.
    The words you once spoke, I forgot what they mean.

    How did I forget? They meant so damn much.

    Then something happened, I remembered from before.
    The sunlight crept through my open window
    Blanketing me from the winds cold blow
    Reminding me of what I was longing for…
    Your Gentle Touch

    Submitted on 2005-02-12 22:53:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I wish I could write as good as this... makes me feel so worthless to read someones beautiful poetry then turn around and think of mine. Welcome to ES, you are a great writer, keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-02-12 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      THis poem, to me, makes me think of someone looking back on his childhood. THe first two stanza's read like two different moments in his past where he can remember really being thankful for his mothers presence.

    My destiny to watch you drown: THen she dies later on in his life

    The rest of the poem is like looknig back trying desperatly to hold on to fond memories. And just cherishing these memories.

    Gentle Touch being in caps is like you've personified that sunlight to be her perhaps indicating that she is still watching over from some spritual relm.

    This may not at all be where you were comming from but the beautiful thing about poetry is how different people can interpret it different ways. Your style is very freash and on point to me and i look forward to reading more of your stuff.

    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]

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