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    dots Submission Name: Sleepless Slumberdots

    Author: majinkenshinamv
    ASL Info:    20/M/Vegas
    Elite Ratio:    7.28 - 70/50/13
    Words: 240
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 1265
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1372

       I wrote this for my significant other right before I left for boot camp. We had a lot going on, almost a romeo and juliet scenario except my parents were as supportive as they could be. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't have much choice and so I had a very strong lovesickness for the first time in my life. I had thought I knew what that was before this but I was wrong. This ones newer than the others but still about 6 months old. Hope you enjoy it a bit.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSleepless Slumberdots

    Drifting into my sleepless slumber
    I cannot help but often wonder;
    When will I get to see you again?
    Will we be lovers or will we be friends?

    So while I doze off with a tear on my cheek,
    I cling to the hope that I値l see you this week.
    If not in a week or a month or a year,
    I hope in my dreams you will keep me near.
    And I値l hold you close as I did once before.
    And cry, once again, as you walk out that door.

    Then while we embrace, our fingers interlocked
    I値l open my eyes to the sound of the clock.
    And as my hand moves to comb back your hair,
    A deep sorrow consumes me when you are not there.

    No warmth from your breath, no taste of your lips.
    No smell of your hair, No caressing fingertips.
    No shine, no sparkle or glimmer in your eyes.
    Neither pressing of hips nor entwining of thighs.
    I awoke devoid of all of these things.
    Not even an escape with newfound wings.

    Then I could reach out to wherever you are,
    Your eyes as my beacon, shining like the North Star.
    And if I should die on this journey from harm,
    I値l try ten more lifetimes till you池e in my arms.
    I値l keep on trying, oblivious to all doubt.
    For yours is a love I cannot live without.

    Submitted on 2005-02-13 13:24:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is amazing. I love imagery and your use of words. This one made me feel sad. AS I read it I remembered someone I have been trying to forget. I really like this. I like your writting style a lot. This was easy to follow and it was easy for me to feel what you were writting good write once again.
    | Posted on 2005-02-13 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ]
      Such a tender work of art. What a lucky girl she was (is?). It made me so sad too, and took me back to a time when you have that sick feeling like you can't possibly live without someone, they dominate your every thought and nothing else seems relevant. I loved the rhythm and rhyme, that is always the hard part for me, so I am in awe of people that can do it. The only line that seems a bit awkward to me is " then while we embrace, our fingers interlocked..." it is two different kind of tenses, no? Maybe I am just reading it wrong. It didn't roll off my tongue like I wanted it to. Other than that I really felt this one in the pit of my stomach. Great job...Magnolia
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]

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