Description: Well, I guess this fits for Valentine's Day. If you can think of a better title, let me know. It's about kissing and just kissing, and I mean mouth kissing too.
Tickling New Territory -------------------------------------------
Our tongues touch
like synchronized swimmers
as they trade mouths
tickling new territory.
I feel like Jacques Cousteau
exploring your depths.
We smooch like kissing fish,
but sadly we have to come up for air,
then we share a giggle and a smile
and I invite you to take another dive.
A sweet poem, very nice. One of those poems that makes you feel all warm inside when you read it. You have such a great natural ability to use imagery, it really is something amazing and unique. You are an exceptional writer and I hope you go far. I know a lot of writers on here write as a hobby or to express themselves, I myself am one. Can i ask if you write professionally? Sarah
As usual, you made me tingle as I read your incredible description of such a private and sensual act, and, I'm happy to say, in fairly plain words. I adored the way you ended it, it's cute, and such a nice change from the doom and gloom of suicidal lost love hurt tears forever etc. etc. etc. Five stars, be happy, kiss often, Graeme
I don't see anything wrong with this, its cute... some people just have such corrupt minds that fish depicts more than lovely little creatures of the sea. I think this is really nice, a very nice addition for V-Day. Don't Delete it... cuz I said so...
that's a very sweet little piece that reallyfits to Valentine's day (although it's already over but anyway...). the only thing that bothers me a bit is the word 'sadly' in the line 'But sadly we have to come'. I would leave it out. it somehow doesn't fit in my opinion. I know why you put it in there but for me it doesn't fit. but that's just me.
Yes, I don't know how the theme when to home plate, in the last version, but it did. I like this much better as it stays kissing, the idea of gentle caresses are inferred and it's a sweeter write. Maybe it was me who took it farther in the last one, I am having a bit of a problem right now with missing someone. Thanks for sharing this, Hugs and Conor's birthday cake,
No, No, No. Doesn't suck. Very entertaining! Great comparision to the fishy too. ;) It's very fitting for Valentines Day as well. I love the ending. Giggling then going in for another one. Great piece. :) Happy Valentines Day! -blt
i like the title and the first three lines. then, well, the Jacques Costeau reference about exploring the depths and the submarine reference seem a little too out of place, like it's not related to the tango you speak of in your title. i think sticking with the dancing image might work a bit better, but that's just my opinion. personally, i could kiss for hours!
This is sensual and steamy make- out fun. Definitely good write for the Eve of Valentine's Day. The depths of Jacque Cousteau is a good image, even kissing like fish works too. But I must admit the submarine dive line bears no resemblance to my idea of making love. Yeah, I know it's well written, but I have other movies playing in my mind. I think you understand. Nice work on imagery and metaphor, thanks Amy.
I must say that this was original The good old french kiss....awww so beautiful...so nice. I like the Jacques Cousteau refrence...exploring each other. As for a title I like the one you have but thats just me.
Gotta say, fish don't exactly make me think romance. I feel grosser about kissing now. And yes, Cousteau is French, but that doesn't make him a romantic image either. And you should be excommunicated for depicting such lascivious behaviour!
Whoa, sorry, my bible belt got a little tight. Saying "play submarine" makes me think more of the motion in that other ocean down south.
Hey, how about "Deep Throat Spilunkers" for a title? <that's a joke, and yes, I know spilunking is in caves, not the sea> Well, whoever it is exploring your deep sea vent is a lucky little diver. ;-)
Another sweet little cuddledumplin offering. Nothing pretentious, but not cliché either. Just another of your fanciful thoughts gone poetic. You could call it "Tickling Fish"-that should grab some attention and doesn't sound salacious (been dying to use that word lol) Instead of "sadly". how about "Too soon we have to come up for air" -because it's not really sad-I think "too soon" is more what you are trying to say. Breathing is a good thing. O2 and all that stuff Sally
Made my blood sing. Lovely. So erotic and sensual... and tricky. Your poems are always a kind of playground for me, when I come I play for a while with words and sentences... and I try to imagine your smile just after you'd written sth new. And I smile too. Love. :*