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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blue Vengeancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1181



    Description:
       The first collaborative work between myself and the inspiration of my other work. A blending of styles and feelings. We put this together as a way of venting the frustration born of our past lives. And as a warning of what it can do to us or others.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlue Vengeancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blue Vengeance


    Vengefulness come naturally to me….. have to fight it
    The insidiousness oozes like the belching of a wraith
    It swings in my subconscious like a hanging rope
    Swells in my heart like an angry gaggle
    Destiny of those incapable of taming it

    Sharks devour a carcass until the bits drift to the sea floor
    Pale eyeless scavengers pounce and battle for the spoils
    Like peasant's bastardized offspring grubbing for penance
    It flourishes in the fertile belly spawned of waste
    And gestates like an inbred promise

    The consumption of sane reasonings is fodder for its grip
    A banquet of opportunists whose vendetta patents ruin
    Like dammed money changers, bamboozlers of innocence
    Their greed has no limits; their hurt knows no salvation
    Parasitic worms bed within

    Slither into the despair of remorse
    Prisoner of internalized emotions
    Consumed by gilded passion of opportunity lost
    Rollercoaster unchecked, my world is wracked
    Blue vengeance my drive, its tentacles wrap





    Submitted on 2005-02-15 09:51:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good vocabulary - although I'm really not sure where the heart of this poem is.

    The consumption of sane reasonings is fodder for its grip
    A banquet of opportunists whose vendetta patents ruin
    Like dammed money changers, bamboozlers of innocence
    Their greed has no limits; their hurt knows no salvation
    Parasitic worms bed within

    I especially like that stanzas. The imagry is good and the entire poem flows very well. There are many similarities to our writing. Good work. (PM me back if you can and let me know exactly what is was that you intended the subject of this piece to be about. I have a pretty decent idea but I'd just like to clarify)
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by omnipotent | [ Reply to This ]
      there are a lot of great metaphors with this poem, but i think the last two commenters didn't understand, vengence has no logic, only hatered sometime well disguise. This works well as a venting prose,very good write
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


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