Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rememberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greensnake
    ASL Info:    60/female/ N.C.
    Elite Ratio:    4.17 - 770/691/75
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1071
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRememberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do you remember when we made love?
    You worked on the Emperor's wall,
    And I brought water from the village.
    Later I came to quench another thirst.
    The night was filled with soft moans,
    And the scents of us.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    You wandered through the snow into our camp.
    I gave you broth and meat,
    And later the warmth of my skin.
    The night was warm with us,
    Though snow covered the world.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    It was the time to press the olives.
    The sun was hot on my skin,
    But my blood was hotter still.
    Smells of oil and love
    We left in the grass of the orchard.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    It was in the desert sands outside the camp.
    The air was cool on the hot sands,
    And the goats were restless withe our love sounds and scents.

    Do you remember when we made love
    In every life we've known.
    Love down through the centuries,
    I feel your touch on me. I hear your moans,
    And smell your scent in me.

    I remember when we made love
    In grass, and sand, and snow.
    In every life I've loved you.
    I search this life in vain
    For I cannot find you.
    So in this life I do not make love.




    Submitted on 2005-02-15 21:56:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i know the feeling of wanting something so bad it almost hurts worse than physical pain. your words are joined so well in each stanza, i love it. there are a few puctuation problems, but other than that it's amazing.

    blue
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw.. that's so amazing.. i almost cried, i want it so bad and...
    well no use spilling my emotions out to you, your a complete stranger and probably dont care..
    -I really love this poem, I'm adding it to my favorites, it really touched me in my weak point, and all in all, i cant think of anything you should do differently.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. that was intense... i do believe in soul mates and that there are people in our lives whom we have known before. i have a few poems along these lines. this was just gorgeous and tender and breath-taking. but then, at the end, it was so sad and bittersweet. it's like you cannot find this person, although you know he/she is out there somewhere. the last line about not making love is just heart-breaking.

    wonderful poem, my friend.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. I like how it's been going on for centuries. I've known some people with whom I've felt an intense connection, and I think that it's possible to have known him/her in a past life. I like how you have it take place in different cultures too.

    In every life I've loved you.
    I search this life in vain
    For I cannot find you.
    So in this life I do not make love

    Well, that's just beautiful. It's sad too, but maybe we weren't meant to make love to any other than "the one." This is excellent.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was totally awesome, especially for it originality point of view,which is what I always look for,but rarely find. yes, sometime the endless search does go onto to find "The One" though we will make love and think of that love as perfect,but its not,but when you find your soulmate, I think as you wrote it, that kind of love does travel through time.

    Actually the one novel I am writing about has that kind of love story in it.

    Again,I say "It simply great"
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the scenes and circumstances you've chosen, because of their intensiity. In any of these, making love might be considered, clandestine and the difficulty being together quite hard to manage. That alone seems to provide the provocative feel of this poem. Also the image of scent is provided in each verse, which tells me this love is timeless. I'm one to tell you don't give up. Just when you think it's not possible, the best things happen. Nice job, thanks for sharing.
    peace,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    46985

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry