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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rememberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greensnake
    ASL Info:    60/female/ N.C.
    Elite Ratio:    4.17 - 770/691/75
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1102
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRememberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do you remember when we made love?
    You worked on the Emperor's wall,
    And I brought water from the village.
    Later I came to quench another thirst.
    The night was filled with soft moans,
    And the scents of us.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    You wandered through the snow into our camp.
    I gave you broth and meat,
    And later the warmth of my skin.
    The night was warm with us,
    Though snow covered the world.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    It was the time to press the olives.
    The sun was hot on my skin,
    But my blood was hotter still.
    Smells of oil and love
    We left in the grass of the orchard.

    Do you remember when we made love?
    It was in the desert sands outside the camp.
    The air was cool on the hot sands,
    And the goats were restless withe our love sounds and scents.

    Do you remember when we made love
    In every life we've known.
    Love down through the centuries,
    I feel your touch on me. I hear your moans,
    And smell your scent in me.

    I remember when we made love
    In grass, and sand, and snow.
    In every life I've loved you.
    I search this life in vain
    For I cannot find you.
    So in this life I do not make love.




    Submitted on 2005-02-15 21:56:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i know the feeling of wanting something so bad it almost hurts worse than physical pain. your words are joined so well in each stanza, i love it. there are a few puctuation problems, but other than that it's amazing.

    blue
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw.. that's so amazing.. i almost cried, i want it so bad and...
    well no use spilling my emotions out to you, your a complete stranger and probably dont care..
    -I really love this poem, I'm adding it to my favorites, it really touched me in my weak point, and all in all, i cant think of anything you should do differently.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. that was intense... i do believe in soul mates and that there are people in our lives whom we have known before. i have a few poems along these lines. this was just gorgeous and tender and breath-taking. but then, at the end, it was so sad and bittersweet. it's like you cannot find this person, although you know he/she is out there somewhere. the last line about not making love is just heart-breaking.

    wonderful poem, my friend.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. I like how it's been going on for centuries. I've known some people with whom I've felt an intense connection, and I think that it's possible to have known him/her in a past life. I like how you have it take place in different cultures too.

    In every life I've loved you.
    I search this life in vain
    For I cannot find you.
    So in this life I do not make love

    Well, that's just beautiful. It's sad too, but maybe we weren't meant to make love to any other than "the one." This is excellent.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was totally awesome, especially for it originality point of view,which is what I always look for,but rarely find. yes, sometime the endless search does go onto to find "The One" though we will make love and think of that love as perfect,but its not,but when you find your soulmate, I think as you wrote it, that kind of love does travel through time.

    Actually the one novel I am writing about has that kind of love story in it.

    Again,I say "It simply great"
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the scenes and circumstances you've chosen, because of their intensiity. In any of these, making love might be considered, clandestine and the difficulty being together quite hard to manage. That alone seems to provide the provocative feel of this poem. Also the image of scent is provided in each verse, which tells me this love is timeless. I'm one to tell you don't give up. Just when you think it's not possible, the best things happen. Nice job, thanks for sharing.
    peace,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]


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