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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I still run forwarddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Serious
    Total Views: 1355
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 863



    Description:
        People always say that you have to live life fast and do what you can while you can because death is chaising you. I eel different. This oem is about finding out that death never follows he waits ahead of the path for your time to come. People run away from death and live fast to do what they can and the reality of it all is they're running to him and liveing to fast. They shorten their life. finding this out I still run forward eve though I know that everyone has their time and can't dodge it. Why live stressfull and let your heart beat out when you can stay calm and lower your heart rate while everyone ages around you. Your heart has so many beats and thats it. Let it beat slow and don't run.


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    dotsI still run forwarddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I follow the prayer which stands still as the angel of death follows me in front of the future.

    The snakes play games on a chess board of relentless loss

    The man in the moon only advises me intensely with the changing expesions of that which accur in his face.

    The sun being it's own december mind says things to me in telepathy that sinks the fear under the rainy dark clouds in which impulses my inner pain that corodes in my mind.

    My thoughts of intellegents call them back for advice as the snakes multiply under my skin to play a game of simple intense war at mind.

    But only my heart can tell me I'm passing up the prayer and it is I who will come across death as he not follows, but unpatiently waits upon my arivel.

    I still run forward.




    Submitted on 2005-02-15 23:42:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Jeremy,

    It took me a while before i actually could find this piece. I can only hope this is it although up to now i feel that it is but then i am not too sure. There are a few similarities in this piece. Death is inevitable. However i do not agree with the statement that death is just there waiting for us. I just cannot imagine that death would plan for a guy who has done nothing wrong in society to be murdered by having his intestines ripped off by two guys who were looking for some fun. Can u really think death can do such a thing? Can it really be this guy's destiny?

    I don't know it's just a thought though.

    I also am not going to compare because i believe your write is good and so is mine. The only difference is our way in approaching a topic and the way we express it. I admire your work, the energy you put in, the way you state things and most of all the ideas you project. Not many people can portray things like those but then some people may not have experienced it or they are simply not open to such theme.

    Still, this piece is interesting in its own picture. You made some interesting images and i admire the way you put it. Thanks for pointing out this poem.

    I'll keep in touch.
    Take care...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Death is Coming no matter what we do. Not bad but I think the 54th stanza needs work its way mixed up. You use" in wich", "so that ""and the" all in the sentence maybe not those exactly but you get my point ,check it out Im sure there is a way you could use all of those really well done descriptive words into somkind of stanza that flows alot better than the one here, ,man you write pretty dark dude, CALM, STAY CALM BREATHE~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this one. very different but edgy. i like the whole meaning of it. about how everyone should just enjoy the life that they have instead of having to look around every corner and worry about dying. i mean i know some people that are so scared to even step outside of their house. i mean thats not the way to live. people shouldnt be scared to die. what a weird habit of living. good job on this one. i think there are some spelling errors but overall it is great. good job.
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]


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