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ASL Info:    30/F*GA
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 44 /68 /23
Words: 174
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1019
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1105


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?



Our Eyes Met
What Were You Saying?
I Was Lost in My Head
Where Our Love Scene Is Playing.

Your Hand Touches Mine
I Remind Myself to Breathe
You Stir up So Many Emotions
I Can’t Make Myself Leave

Each Time You Come Around
You Are Making Me Smile
But You Do Not Stay Very Long
Haven’t Seen You in a While

But You Stand Here Now
And My Lips You Have Found
Your Kiss Sends Me Floating
Are My Feet on the Ground?

I Am So Completely Confused
This Was Not in My Plan
I Can’t Feel this Way
Go Away Beautiful Man

Wait! Stop!!
I Don’t Want You to Go!
Kiss Me Once More
There Are Things I must Know.

Take My Hand, Follow Me
Just Give Me this Chance
Let Me Show You My World
It’s Our Turn to Dance.

My World Is Addictive
You Will Not Want to Leave
Soon You Will Be the One
Reminding Yourself to Breathe

Submitted on 2005-02-15 23:49:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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You wrote this in a very simplistic manner, but I think that you captured that feeling of confusion when someone you like is around you.
And, I loved the ending. It was kind of unexpected
I love how you made this whole situation that you are describing work for you.
| Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a truly wonderful is quite touching.i love how you ended it...i can relate to it as well because i know how it feels when your in love and you get so caught up you have to remind yourself to breathe...keep up the good work...
| Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by black_joker1292 | [ Reply to This ]
  what a wonderful poem...i loved the way it ended...This is just so super...i know what the feeling is like to have to catch your breath...and you wrote about it perfectly...good job hommie
| Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by ForJordan03 | [ Reply to This ]
  It really reminds me of infatuation, lust. I love the natural flow about it. I'm sure all of us have felt this way at one point in our life. I enjoyed it, keep up the great work.
| Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by lost_escape | [ Reply to This ]
  i love it although 1 part didn't flow togther so well its such a good poem my favorite part is
"My World Is Addictive
You Will Not Want to Leave
Soon You Will Be the One
Reminding Yourself to Breathe"
first piece i've ever read of your so now i think i'll take a look at the rest of it
| Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by Lucy L. | [ Reply to This ]

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