Description: What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?
You wrote this in a very simplistic manner, but I think that you captured that feeling of confusion when someone you like is around you. And, I loved the ending. It was kind of unexpected I love how you made this whole situation that you are describing work for you.
this is a truly wonderful piece...it is quite touching.i love how you ended it...i can relate to it as well because i know how it feels when your in love and you get so caught up you have to remind yourself to breathe...keep up the good work...
what a wonderful poem...i loved the way it ended...This is just so super...i know what the feeling is like to have to catch your breath...and you wrote about it perfectly...good job hommie
It really reminds me of infatuation, lust. I love the natural flow about it. I'm sure all of us have felt this way at one point in our life. I enjoyed it, keep up the great work.
i love it although 1 part didn't flow togther so well its such a good poem my favorite part is "My World Is Addictive You Will Not Want to Leave Soon You Will Be the One Reminding Yourself to Breathe" first piece i've ever read of your so now i think i'll take a look at the rest of it
Submission Name: breathe
