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    dots Submission Name: Dance With Usdots

    Author: Pyrosis
    ASL Info:    24/M/TN
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 199/204/35
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 939
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682

       forgive me if my works have been a bit dark recently.. i know where they are coming from so maybe i'll get this out of me eventually.. this is an interesting picture though isn't it.. ahh well..

    you can cut this to pieces if you want.. i just started writing it out of no where..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDance With Usdots

    "You know, you could give me one night.."
    I know it will start soon

    A nightmarish beat arises from deep within me
    I dance, flames surrounding my every motion

    They pierce me where I stand
    They seem pleased with my demonesque motion

    My hands are shaking
    Yet my feet keep moving
    The pain never ends and the night never dies

    "Let it end.."
    The drums finally cease
    Yet the burn still remains

    I wake, still shaking from my passionate torment..
    Why ask me to dance?
    I never stop..

    Submitted on 2005-02-16 13:43:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Aww! This is a question for me. "Why ask me to dance?" Because I never stop! :) :) :) At least I think about it a lot. In the summer it's worse because all that I really have going on is dance and not school. :) It's fun. Ahhh I can't wait for summer. I really like this. I don't think it's that dark though. Of course you know I would like it because it's about dancing! Great job. I'm dancing beside you and let them stare. :)
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS REALLY GOOD sory about the caps nice imagery of self suffering through giving yourself to others commands leaves me saying hmmm great job
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool. I like the use of imagery, plus it's a pretty intense poem. The part where you say: "My hands are shaking/ Yet my feet keep moving/ The pain never ends and the night never dies" is a part that I feel that I can relate to because it seems like I'm doing what they've asked me to do, but in order to do it I have to feel the pain and I can't stop, so neither can the pain.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]

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