[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Dance With Usdots

    Author: Pyrosis
    ASL Info:    24/M/TN
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 199/204/35
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682

       forgive me if my works have been a bit dark recently.. i know where they are coming from so maybe i'll get this out of me eventually.. this is an interesting picture though isn't it.. ahh well..

    you can cut this to pieces if you want.. i just started writing it out of no where..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDance With Usdots

    "You know, you could give me one night.."
    I know it will start soon

    A nightmarish beat arises from deep within me
    I dance, flames surrounding my every motion

    They pierce me where I stand
    They seem pleased with my demonesque motion

    My hands are shaking
    Yet my feet keep moving
    The pain never ends and the night never dies

    "Let it end.."
    The drums finally cease
    Yet the burn still remains

    I wake, still shaking from my passionate torment..
    Why ask me to dance?
    I never stop..

    Submitted on 2005-02-16 13:43:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Aww! This is a question for me. "Why ask me to dance?" Because I never stop! :) :) :) At least I think about it a lot. In the summer it's worse because all that I really have going on is dance and not school. :) It's fun. Ahhh I can't wait for summer. I really like this. I don't think it's that dark though. Of course you know I would like it because it's about dancing! Great job. I'm dancing beside you and let them stare. :)
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS REALLY GOOD sory about the caps nice imagery of self suffering through giving yourself to others commands leaves me saying hmmm great job
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool. I like the use of imagery, plus it's a pretty intense poem. The part where you say: "My hands are shaking/ Yet my feet keep moving/ The pain never ends and the night never dies" is a part that I feel that I can relate to because it seems like I'm doing what they've asked me to do, but in order to do it I have to feel the pain and I can't stop, so neither can the pain.
    | Posted on 2005-02-16 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    This written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]