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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Angels of the Seadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edthepoet
    ASL Info:    47-m-Pa
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 1476/991/125
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1479
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 987



    Description:
       Sometime in life, a poet gets so luckyand has a person like Cindy come in your life make your poetry actually mean something. It was so awesome that she called me from Austrailia to tell me how much she love it, now how great is that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAngels of the Seadots
    -------------------------------------------


    ANGELS OF THE SEA

    While standing by the coastal shore
    Mesmerized by ocean waves
    Hoping to see the angels of the sea
    Something leaps so high and far
    Itís Scarlet, my dolphin sister
    Dancing and prancing so gracefully
    High above the ocean sea
    She was squealing with her high-pitch voice
    Come play with me
    Heading straight for the shore
    Encouraging me to dive right in
    I dove so deep and jumped so high
    I felt like a dolphin inside
    I swam, flipped and frolicked all day
    Smiling and learning with my pod family
    Witnessing first hand what all kids dream
    The splendor of freedom unknown to them
    Where splashing, flipping and eating all day
    Wonít get them sent to their room

    EDWARD K DEPUTY
    JUNE 2001

    DEDICATED TO CINDY
    Who is 13 and retarded, yet so love my poetry






    Submitted on 2005-02-17 08:27:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, you really do have a heart of gold. Very noble of you to have done this for such a special girl.

    Well done and I wish you a very merry christmas.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      Ed a great write i understood it perfectly
    how i long to escape back to my days as a youth

    i like the visionary of the dolphins and the sea it was beutiful


    i have a sister who has down syndrome so to Cindy i say
    God Bless You Brave Little One


    please if you get a chance read some of my poetry i have written a lot about Gods Little Angel my sister

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how you use a dolphin in it it adds a sense of mysterious attributes to this sea you are enjoying yourself so much in. It also had a great flow. It felt like a poem setting you back to describe a place of true paradise. Great job. Cindy would really like it herself!
    | Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      The title of this caught my interest because I visualized a mermaid. The dolphin subject is just as mystical. This free verse with such describtive stanza's " Dancing and prancing so gracefully High above the ocean sea" unfold such a beautiful comfortable scenerio. Read one of your reviews with some possible changes that could refine this treasure.
    ~always with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      its so peaceful and playful, [censored] me inside a dream i didnt know could exsist, and yet somehow, someway I am aware of what is happening in the world around me once again.
    -It would be so awesome if it rhymed, I am obssesed with poems that have verses and rhyme, yours has verses and doesnt rhyme, but you make it so awesome that it doesnt need to.

    -necrotic-
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Ed, this was truely an inspiration. I have a need to draw this poem. It practically paints the picture itself. a sparkling blue ocean littered with frolicking dolphins, humans and merpeople. LOVE LOVE LOVED it..
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Rubi_Roja | [ Reply to This ]
      To be worry free, alive and happy. Things we all crave in life. It's wonderful how you captured the words and feelings in this poem. Close your eyes and I am there jumping and swimming right next to you. I love your dedication. Beautiful, Carol
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      yes i will agree that i myself have a hard time writing something happy but it was nice and really i would love to swim as dolphins
    peace
    Mandy
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by mandy dupuis | [ Reply to This ]
      i really did adore this poem. what i liked so much about it is the carefree beauty that you see here. Dolphins are MY ABSOULTE FAVORITE animal ever! (i even studied marine biology for a while)
    the splendor and complete happiness always amazes me with their perpetual grin. beautiful poem, Im sure Cindy would be pleased.
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really cool writing... Though I am not really one for uppity and happy writing... This poem really struck me as the kind that is caring and really just...I dunno... Upbeat... I can definately feel a distinguishing sense of supreme happiness that alot of animals in the wild probably feel... I am most positive that cindy would love this writing... And the fact that you made it only for her will make it 10 times better than before... An excellent writing that portrays true happiness and bliss... Great job.
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      To make a connection to a friend is wonderful, but to be able to move each other with your words is nearly divine. It's awesome that your friend appreciates your words so much. :)

    The image of dolphins speaks so strongly of friendly play and a sense of freedom,
    it makes me want to go to the beach...badly! :P

    A sweet and heartfelt write that was a pleasure to read, ed!
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      yes ed, this connection you have made is what really matters, and it seems a little unappropriate to pull it apart in a she-loves-me-she-loves-me-not-manner.
    what i would say about his is that the use of simple language and child-like feeling is very appropriate to what you have to say and where it is going. it is not always an easy thing to do, and so this is to its credit. it is scattered and flippant and say it as you see it, much like a child would do, being distracted amidst one thing when another thing of interest comes along.
    like colours and animals and ice cream that always get the attention of the little kids.
    and this is the feeling i ge there.

    i do feel that this piece needs some punctuation. i can see why you would not use it, but i feel that you need to take us where you want to take us and not rely on us reading your piece as it is meant to be read. it is a little tricky and awkward at times and this is an injustice to the words that are there and who they are for.
    innocent and pure it is, i just think a few stops and links would help convey this in the purest form.
    hope all is well ed, long time no see and such
    take care
    on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice and simple, and tells the story so you can imagine the pictures in your mind. You create the happiness and freedom of dolphins well, and I like the reference to what all kids want...Good.
    | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      How beautiful is this. And so graphic you can almost feel the ocean spray on your face... I've just watched a movie called "Sea People" and this poem fits in so well with the theme... wish I was a mermaid now so I can join them in their frolicking. Up up and away... Nice.
    | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by sugar-n-spice | [ Reply to This ]
      Such a cute ending to this poem. Humanising the dolphins and likening them to playful children that get to do everything without getting into trouble. Very well written. I absolutely love dolphins and have then on keyrings and t-shirts and screensavers and and and... lovely poem. I feel you've captured their playful nature one hundred percent!
    | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


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