[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: R.I.Pdots

    Author: runaway_poet
    ASL Info:    21/m/limbo
    Elite Ratio:    6.2 - 42/41/21
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1046
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1334


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Goodbye stranger that I Might have known
    Thank you for the kindness that you might have shown
    Forgive me if I might have left you all alone

    I wish i could remember you
    You were in a place I forced to forget
    now trying so hard to remember Watching the sun set

    faces of the past poping up like bubbles
    Why must I dig up long Forgotten troubles
    Theese faded memories start to humble

    The answer right infront of me but out of reach
    this pain this sorrow is eating me like a leach
    This confusion this fustartion roting in me like a rancid peach

    knowing only your last mistake hoping for you to be forgiven
    hoping passage to heavon you will be given

    so Goodbye my dearest Stranger
    But at least you will no longer be in danger

    know that your spirit will be remembered one way or another
    to me your my forgotten brother
    a brother from another mother

    so rest in peace my forgotten friend
    now you can heal now you can mend

    I wish that i could remember your face
    now that you have left this place
    but I pray to god your happy...now that you are in grace

    Submitted on 2005-02-17 08:44:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i enjoyed reading this. i feel i've been there before. and still may be. i think you can work on your wording and your rhyme scheme, but other then that your poem is very in touch with reality. good writing. keep on keep'n on.
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by peach_tequilla | [ Reply to This ]
      Limbo, yes I lived there for a while, and it causes one to not remember clearly, and the questions of life are rather confusing, especially to vivitors. however it is bet to be a nice place to vivit, not a good one to live in, Oh that was so cliché!
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      what this piece lacks in rhyme scheme it makes up for in emotion so good job on that if you could have kept the rhyme scheme simple but to the point that would have been god but hell thats hard to do good job on puttng a sincere and personal look on the farewell of a stranger
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]