Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

R.I.P


Author: runaway_poet
ASL Info:    21/m/limbo
Elite Ratio:    6.2 - 42 /41 /21
Words: 266
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1254
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1334



Description:




R.I.P



Goodbye stranger that I Might have known
Thank you for the kindness that you might have shown
Forgive me if I might have left you all alone

I wish i could remember you
You were in a place I forced to forget
now trying so hard to remember Watching the sun set

faces of the past poping up like bubbles
Why must I dig up long Forgotten troubles
Theese faded memories start to humble

The answer right infront of me but out of reach
this pain this sorrow is eating me like a leach
This confusion this fustartion roting in me like a rancid peach

knowing only your last mistake hoping for you to be forgiven
hoping passage to heavon you will be given

so Goodbye my dearest Stranger
But at least you will no longer be in danger

know that your spirit will be remembered one way or another
to me your my forgotten brother
a brother from another mother

so rest in peace my forgotten friend
now you can heal now you can mend

I wish that i could remember your face
now that you have left this place
but I pray to god your happy...now that you are in grace
R.I.P




Submitted on 2005-02-17 08:44:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i enjoyed reading this. i feel i've been there before. and still may be. i think you can work on your wording and your rhyme scheme, but other then that your poem is very in touch with reality. good writing. keep on keep'n on.
| Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by peach_tequilla | [ Reply to This ]
  Limbo, yes I lived there for a while, and it causes one to not remember clearly, and the questions of life are rather confusing, especially to vivitors. however it is bet to be a nice place to vivit, not a good one to live in, Oh that was so cliché!
| Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
  what this piece lacks in rhyme scheme it makes up for in emotion so good job on that if you could have kept the rhyme scheme simple but to the point that would have been god but hell thats hard to do good job on puttng a sincere and personal look on the farewell of a stranger
| Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



47172