Things are not the way they should be,
my insides are all decayed.
Every blooming flower that should have grown is now a dead organism without hope.
I try to be considerate but this i cannot achieve.
Others see me as an example but the true mask always tends to peak.
I am only human and there is no perfection to everything i do, I hope.
but over the years i have realized that hope is nothing if there is no initiative
if there is no will.
I dont know what others expect of me, its impossible to live up to their standards but the truth is i have none for myself.
Dont know what i want, its just not there.
Have you ever done something for a while and get accustume to it and suddendly one day you come to realize that the way you were doing things is wrong.
Is it one person's opinion what screws your thoughts? Are others opinions about yourself that turn on the lights?
Im tired of walking in the dark. I'm soo accustomed to it, it has become reassuring.
In the dark other's wont make fun of me, they wont laugh.
In the dark they wont see my mistakes, their screams will be lost in space.
Once you turn on the lights everything is over. That comfort is gone, you are forced to do things the way others expect of you to and are mocked when you dont.
Depression is sin. In my mind he is my only friend.
You dont know me i think.
Dont know what I've been through, dont know what I've seen.
You cant judge me yet you do.
All i want is to crawl in my little hole and scream "I'm not perfect just leave me alone.
I dont want to improve I want to be the way i am, i want to keep hurting, I want to hold on to old beliefs."
I dont see my religion
Im forced to follow the crowd, forced to pretend I care.
In the process of pretending i become what i hate, there is no turning back.
I cant remember anything of the past.
Its gone
not there
all morals and ethics that i used to hold have banished.
There are no gods, they are just a myth
a fake story made to belive.
Makes you feel better knowing there is someone perfect, that we can improve
But what if...
just if...
that belief was not there?
To know that who you are is what you will be will be.
Will we still strive to improve and compete with ourselves? or give in to this desperate hell? |
Submission Name: An Ode to Hope
