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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Do You Have The Time?"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 779



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Do You Have The Time?"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look at my watch it's 3:22.
    where does time go,
    sometimes it flies by you,
    while other times it goes so slow.

    I look over at my friend,
    and reality smacks me again,
    it's not going to stop,
    or even slow.
    We dont have alot,
    before it's you're time to go.
    You can't stop the pages
    that turn
    as everything ages,
    I've learned
    to stay on good terms.

    My friend knew what I was thinking.
    he asked me what time it was again?.
    the funniest thing,
    my watch stopped right then.
    Time is no longer of the essence.
    for us it ended that very instant.

    L A M E M A N S T E R M S




    Submitted on 2005-02-17 15:48:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      nice little idea about time had some valid points thrown in and around but i really couldnt see a main thought except that time flies but other than that decent little write
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Time...there is so much of it yet we always think that we are running out of it. Must be that mortality thing we all got going on. I like this. Reminds me of why I decided to quit wearing a watch. I have the time on my cell phone, but I dont particularly keep it on me just so I know what time it is. Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice choice of topic; I love reading poems in which people tackle "the big topics." I like seeing the different perspectives. I really liked the way you ended this poem: "Time is no longer of the essence./ for us it ended that very instant." Nice lines that really linger with the reader. The second stanza feels like it should be split into two after the line "before it's you're time to go." I say this because as I read the poem for the first time I had a little brain glitch there; it's a slight change in topic but it feels like it might warrent a stanza break. The poem has a very prosaic feel to it. It's almost like following someone's stream of thought. It was intriguing but I also think that if ever choose to do any revision on this then try playing around with different words that are little out there; that would mimic the out there nature of time you're talking about. All in all, this was a pleasant read.
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by Memphis | [ Reply to This ]
      i see a short story topic possibility here
    what do you say ,a little twilight zone thingy.
    i love you man
    so easy on me
    sentence structure needs tweaking unless thats the style you are representing
    my veiwpoint is not p.h.d.
    but i got the subject i think philosopher LT
    and it is a special experiance so it should flow a little smoother.
    the art is there
    i see it
    time
    witness
    proof
    of the past
    happening to
    to fast
    except when time stops
    were you still growing
    changing moving on with life
    sorry dude i can get to deep sometimes
    thats how i read it,where it took me.
    paint of the piece might have been blurry
    the flow could have been hazy
    or were you drinking beer
    paulie d
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by paulie d | [ Reply to This ]


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