Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Game of Deceitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladydeathstrike
    ASL Info:    27/F/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 259/284/94
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       this poem was written about a special person in a time when i was in a state of confusion and anger. It is not meant to bash or to offend anyone. It was just a way of expressing my feelings.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Game of Deceitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    this madness is useless
    his anger and attitude consumes me

    Im tired of playing this game
    Im tired of following imature steps.

    There's doubt in my heart
    it clearly shows in my eyes

    He is proud, he can't let go
    Im pudding, there is no hope.

    All faith in this is lost
    Pandora's box has opened wide

    I will not follow, I refuse to march
    I have already explored that path

    If he refuses to back off
    soon enough this pact will crack.
    because this nonsense with me wont ever last.




    Submitted on 2005-02-17 15:49:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ahh the feuding relationship, its always best to move on chica. I liked the poem, it had some good ideas, like pandoras box/you have already been down this road etc. One thing I think you could find a better word then useless in the 1st line -useless is just... useless to use. You are trying to say how much it consumes you, well its negetive ,so we know its not usefull so find a word that describes why tyou are so consumed and it might work a lil better, (just a thought) see ya~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-02-17 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww poor Andrea! The poem all together was very well written but I sort of lost the flow a couple of times. The pandoras box part is what really interest me. The only thing I have to say about the poem is try to make it flow more other than that, good job!
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Midnight_Rose | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    47220

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry