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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All is...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rail
    ASL Info:    18-m-Washinton state
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 117/80/13
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       Yet another one of my rantings.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll is...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    All is darkness
    All is coldness
    All is numbness

    All around there is no light
    Hope is not
    Hope is not

    All is calmness
    All is stillness
    All is quietness

    All around there is no light
    Hope is not
    Hope is not

    All is sadness
    All is madness
    All is nothingness

    All around there is no light
    Hope is not
    Hope is not




    Submitted on 2005-02-17 21:52:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      for a poem, relying on those short stanza's, worked really well, i liked how you used the repeating stanza over and over, although i think you could have put some more feeling and emotion into this piece, i think you had a good idea coming forth but then in a way ruined it by using the short and bluntness effect, other then that it felt to me like a voice inside my head was saying it over and over like a chant...
    take care
    ++My Pain++
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
      This is clever
    This write shines Light (no pun intended)
    On the beautiful light
    I refered to the Light as I always do as God
    Always shining and welcoming us to His Love
    Great Job
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      so simple. needs more. more detail. more words. more emotion. elt like a bunch of words jotted down too me. but...i liked the repeating part "all around there is no light". though it was catchy. -soomie
    | Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      lol thats kinda funny in a no-one-elce-wuold-think-so way. i no u can do better then that though so dont post things just for the sake of posting things. better luck next time.
    mheracai
    | Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the style but i think you needed to put a little more stuff into your poem. Other than that its pretty good.

    -Selene :-)
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by Selene | [ Reply to This ]



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