Please Take it All Away by Zu

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Submission Name: Please Take it All Away dots

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Author:	Zu
Elite Ratio:	5.12 - 446/379/76
Words:	178

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Love
Total Views:	988
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1129

Description:
here kayla!! enjoy!! (hope you do)

Please Take it All Away dots

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Memories floating in front of me
Naked, white and free
They remind me, and make me see
What I could not be
There is a cloud up there
Cutting across the air
There is hope where
Time does not stay.

And I can’t take any more
Leave me in the dark
You enjoy this I’m sure
But please take it all away…

They say that love is great
But I say that it’s fate
Sometimes it’s all in vain
Cause you can’t escape
Sometimes on a cold night
Devoid of light
You can see someone who’s crying
And that someone is me!

And I can’t take anymore
Leave me in the dark
You enjoy this I’m sure
But please take it all away…

It’s my fault
All mine
I never did see
How special you were
But now you aren’t here

And now…
Please take it all away…

(Mute)

And I can’t take anymore
Leave me in the dark
You enjoy this I’m sure
But please take it all away…

Submitted on 2005-02-18 09:05:11 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
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4: Pretty cool
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||| Comments |||
  Good write. I liked it a lot. It expressed good emotion, and they were very good lyrics. The structure was well displayed, and you could tell that you're writing out of your own style. The theme wasn't exactly different, but you made it your own, Very nicely done. I applaud you :-)
| Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Blaith Hawthen | [ Reply to This ]
  not bad... it is a recurring theme, but of course, we as a society haven't exactly figured out a definition for love...
Keep up the work.

-Raistlin
| Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this was great! 8 mins only?! You've got to be kidding me! I want to hear this on the radio someday, kapeesh?

This piece reminded me of that one coldplay ro something or other sone, Can You Take it All Away, and I adore that song so awesom job.

As I was reading this, this part stuck out like crazy:

"They say that love is great
But I say that it’s fate
Sometimes it’s all in vain
Cause you can’t escape
Sometimes on a cold night
Devoid of light"

And I mean crazy good. The next two lines were good to, but these strung together were awesome. Kick-arse job Zu!

-Kayla
| Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey friend! I've had a little break and now I'm back - though I still CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING - and I'm pretty worried about it, anyway, let's get to this one - cause it seems very nice.

Concerning the style - it's all ok for me, as for lyrics of course. Every sentence has got a kind of melody, and the chorus is done very well too. A fine construction. The idea with 'mute' is very interesting and gives it melodicism again.

Concerning interpretation, I am not sure about the part:

'Leave me in the dark'

and then:

'But please take it all away'

On one hand if I take as a kind of freedom from memories (darkness) it works well, on the other - it just doesn't fit. Could be written differently. Now, I think it's a very special kinda-love-song, it really is. And I enjoyed it very, very much. And I'm gonna give you a big five if it is possible, cause you absolutely deserve it. It's been a long time since I was here last time - and I think you keep instantly developing yourself. And it's great!

By the way, those guys on the photo, god, they're horny. ;)
| Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
  These sound kind of angry, and to be honest, I've kind of gone away from angry music and lyrics. So I don't really know what to comment on because of that and that lack of inspiration I've been having recently.

I'll give you this much though, these are best lyrics I have read on this site for a long while because the "lyrics" section has just been poetry with no obvious melody or rhythm behind any of them. Well even though I can't really comment on this, I'll compare it to your others and say that your lyrical talent keeps on getting better and better. Great job!

James
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
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9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.