This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

  Off

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password
Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

YOUR MEMORY


Author: RJCHANDLER
ASL Info:    30/F*GA
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 44 /68 /23
Words: 168
Class/Type: Poetry /Venting
Total Views: 1121
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 992



Description:

THANK GOD THE MAN MARRIED THAT GIRL WITH THE BIG NOSE, I COULD N'T HAVE HANDLED ONE PRETTIER THAN ME...BEST FREAKIN' WISHES DANNY-BOY!!!!!
THIS POEM IS HORRIBLE BECAUSE THIS GUY WAS HORRIBLE ...


YOUR MEMORY


YOUR MEMORY


IT CAUGHT UP WITH ME TODAY
I WAS COMPLETELY UNAWARE
I WISH I’D SEEN IT COMING
HAD MORE TIME TO PREPARE

IT RATTLED MY HEART , RIPPED OUT MY SOUL
UNTIL I WAS SURE I COULD TAKE NO MORE
BUT IT DIDN’T LET UP , IT WOULDN’T LET GO
I COULDN’T SHAKE IT LIKE THE TIME BEFORE

SHOWING NO MERCY AS I LAY THERE
WHERE IT KNOCKED ME ON THE GROUND
AS SOON AS I THOUGHT THE MOMENT HAD PASSED
IT RETURNED FOR ANOTHER ROUND

THIS TIME IT SHOOK ME HARDER
MY HEART POUNDING IN MY HEAD
I GUESS IT WASN’T SATISFIED
THAT JUST MY SOUL WAS DEAD

IT PROVED TO BE MUCH STRONGER
AND MY BODY WAS GETTING WEAK
AS REALITY WAS SINKING IN
I BEGAN TO FEAR DEFEAT.

NOW THE WILL TO FIGHT ABANDONES ME
I HAVE TO LET IT WIN
I NEVER THOUGHT YOUR MEMORY
WOULD BE WHAT DID ME IN.




Submitted on 2005-02-18 23:04:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  interesting use of words... it didn't make complete sense to me, but I liked the flow of the poem. Good job ^_^
---Save the Queen---
| Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Save the Queen | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey Chandler

Interesting poem ;0) I guess you have worked really hard on this and make the flow come true. I like the way you have made the structure, but I think you could change some of the words and make the poem a little bit more readable. If you know what I mean.

I like to read others poems and see how they are working on their poems. So what is the first thing that pops into your mind, when you are writing. Is it the structure, the rhythm or ??

Keep writing ;0)

KNS
| Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?		7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



47412

EliteSkills

  Roleplay
  Top News