Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Haikud Infect Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 13
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 119



    Description:
       Just my feeble attempt at a Haiku, please don't be rough on me. and if I sneeze watch out


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHaikud Infect Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Magnanimously...
    My love so penurious.
    H.I.V and me.


    lame
    mans
    terms




    Submitted on 2005-02-19 15:53:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm sorry but i didn't undertand that at all. The only reason I could pronounce the first word/line is because i know hiaku's only have five syllables in the first line. The format is right-5-7-5, but i didn't understand it...please tell me what it means
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Lostlover | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL i didnt get it either. i need to get my dictionary. butttttt i dont feel like it, so instead you can just let me know what the eff'in eff this is about.
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, here's my take. You didn't have enough money to pay for a high class hooker because of the fact that you are so penurious, so you settled for a bargain barbie and now you have VD. I am enthralled by these haiku's. I read some earlier and it is really something I want to try. Good first one. Magnolia
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      Or maybe it could mean that because you are such a great, moral guy, you are stingy with your love because you know you have VD. I must know- Magnolia
    | Posted on 2005-02-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      hay lamemans, sorry it took me so long to reply to you and read this. I read it once before and the last line read differently. With the change it makes me think that maybe because you gaves so freely of your love and got nothing in return that you ended up catching a VD. Is the HIV real or symbolic. Let me know. Please PM me and explain this to me. Otherwise this reads pretty well. keep it up. Haiku do kinda make you dig deep into your vocabulary to fish out words that will allow you to express your point in the proper format. SOmetimes you can lose your audience if you dig too deeply tough. I did have to fetch out the dictionary. But hay, that's my fault not yours. This poem reads like someone is seeking out love and getting nothing in returned but burned. Shed light on my vailed eyes.
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    47474

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry