Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

morning rituals


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 61
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 789
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 360



Description:




morning rituals



I sit on the toilet and
watch you brush your teeth.
I sit and talk to your reflection through
the mirror.
I sit on the toilet and
watch you lather up, and shave the fuzz that kissed me that morning.
I sit and talk to you.
You stand there and listen.
Every morning.
Has to be love.
Right?




Submitted on 2005-02-20 16:14:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I like the image of talking to a partner's reflection in the mirror while sitting on the john. It expresses a level of comfort and familiarity usually only found with someone you have been physically intimate with for some time.

Is that love? Hmm...I remember a relationship a looonnnnngggg time ago where I had similar daily scenarios. I think you just get used to eachother when you live together and gradually become less inhibited. It's more autonomy than depth of emotion but perhaps it signifies a certain level of mutual acceptance not easy to establish. Well, there's somthing special going on, or maybe just a lack of boundaries. I'll have to think about this one.
| Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]
  It was very simplistic, and maybe that's why I liked it so much. It gave me an odd sense of emotion, that love is sometimes disguised and not always how it's precieved in the media. That's at least how it appeared to me.

I have a question though: this line
watch you lather up, and shave the fuzz the kissed me that morning.

I think you meant 'that' instead of the?

ok, well, nice write!
| Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by lemonpromenade | [ Reply to This ]
  It was weird how I liked this. It was so simple but at the same time I can't help but want that. Great job..thats what good poems do..they make you feel. I disagree with lemonpromenade though i think that line should stay the same. Great job.
Blessed Be!
| Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]
  holy crap (no pun intended) that's awesome! hm, love? wow, if that's love, i'm glad i'm all alone! actually i don't mean that. yes, it's a very simple and monotonous picture, but it has a very light, bright quality to it, a peacefulness that's present in the words that makes it, well, lovable. great job. oh, btw, line 6...change "the kissed" to "that kissed". word.
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes, i would have to agree that's one part of love,its the little things like that mixed with so many other things that make love work.

This was a simple write with a powerful message, excellent
| Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



47578