Alone
|
|
Description:
Alone
You walk an empty street The sound of you shoes hitting the pavement Echoes all around you You used to walk with friends But you chose this road while they chose another Your face tightens as the sharp blade of your knife hits your arm You refused help when people offered And you chose to walk alone People look down on you Because of the way you are They say it’s just a quite scream But to you it just relieves pain Your friends all left because you inflicted pain You had blood stains on your carpet They say they wouldn’t be surprised If you killed yourself tonight The air around you is cold And your fingers are frozen from the chill But you still wrap them Around the handle of that knife You cut your arm once again You say this is the last But then you parents piss you off And you cut again Refuse once more the help offered As you swipe the blade Acting as though it doesn’t hurt But you keep cutting relentlessly Tell me why should you walk alone When so many people want to help They offer yet you refuse Slashing at your arm You finally run for help But it seems to be to late Everyone has turned their backs And their hands are no longer there |
Submitted on 2005-02-20 18:08:54 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post
Comments
| Wow. This was great. I could definatlely relate to this one. I know what you are talking about when you say: "They say it's just a silent scream, But to you it just releives the pain." But it kind of got me thinking a little bit, that it may releive the pain, but at the same time, it is a silent scream, and the weakness is not letting anyone help though it is offered. And i liked the lines about promising that it would be the last cut, but then all the reasons come back, and the promise is broken, which ultimately makes the person even weaker...And the part where you finally decide you want help, only to find that everyone has given up trying, that was great...I could definately feel the emotion in this poem. It was so sad, and so real. You did an excellent job writing this. Great work! | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ] | i loved this write i would really like to know the story behind this poem or if there is one i liked the poem and i guess thats what matters dont ever stop writing do what makes you happy | | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ] | wow soooo much emotion in this poem, very talented and very good work with it, so much imagery i could actually picture someon lonely walking down a street at nite...wow ur good lol much love | <3*DancingGirl*  | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by DancingGirl | [ Reply to This ] | Yeah I know the feeling, no one to help ease the pain of life. The only thing is that in real life you would be thrown in a looney bin within a few weeks (if someone finds out). | I love it, hard to get poems like this to run smoothe. | Posted on 2005-02-20 00:00:00 | by EmptyPromise_5 | [ Reply to This ] | hey vamp | try to remove some of all the "you"'s and make it more solid. I can see you have a lot on your mind So think about your rhythm and flow ;0) ex. walking in an empty street Hearing echoes, all around The sound of your shoes hitting the pavement Still hits my soul Why did you chose ? Sorry, but it is just a fast made ex. So if you are not able to use it, it is understandable ;0) Keep working KNS | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ] | |
47594