[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Thoughts...dots

    Author: ForsakenAngel
    ASL Info:    19/F/Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    6.37 - 147/73/18
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 744
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 496

       This is like a poem but it is also my thoughts. Tht is why it is called so. It is a poem about my thoughts so it is kindof in stanzas but in more of a thoughts format. Thanks.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Is full of so many uncertainties.
    So many questions left unanswered...
    So much love drowned by so much pain.

    Can I...?
    Will I...?
    Will I be able to tell you ...
    How I feel?
    We aren't even face to face,
    And yet I already have butterflies.

    So many thoughts of what could happen...
    Will you love me back?,
    Will my love not be returned?,
    And my efforts meaningless...

    Submitted on 2005-02-21 00:41:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      damn girl, this is good...I should have started reading your stuff I loong time ago...I realize that my comments are not the conventional type which I"m sure your used to...I'm sorry about that...anyway, back to your poem...this isn't really the type of poetry I usually read or write...with the non-rhymingness...its more like abunch of thoughts...like a blog or something...not that this isn't good though
    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      it has a sense of kind of being a little all over the place, or has that sense of skipping beats. a lot of in-betweens missing...which i think works really well with this, because they are thoughts. and thoughts come randomly, like speeding cars. i like that.
    Will I ba able to tell you ...theres a typo in there but easily fixable.
    thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this and the way it was shown, as SilentWhisper said, the 'in-betweens missing' really worked for this piece. I think you should have made it longer, but I'm not sure how I mean, you got all you had to say out it seems. Anyway, please do write more and please get on to tell me how it goes.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by TDALBH | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]