damn girl, this is good...I should have started reading your stuff I loong time ago...I realize that my comments are not the conventional type which I"m sure your used to...I'm sorry about that...anyway, back to your poem...this isn't really the type of poetry I usually read or write...with the non-rhymingness...its more like abunch of thoughts...like a blog or something...not that this isn't good though
it has a sense of kind of being a little all over the place, or has that sense of skipping beats. a lot of in-betweens missing...which i think works really well with this, because they are thoughts. and thoughts come randomly, like speeding cars. i like that. Will I ba able to tell you ...theres a typo in there but easily fixable. thanks for sharing
I really liked this and the way it was shown, as SilentWhisper said, the 'in-betweens missing' really worked for this piece. I think you should have made it longer, but I'm not sure how I mean, you got all you had to say out it seems. Anyway, please do write more and please get on to tell me how it goes.