[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Drunken Godsdots

    Author: _taateli_
    ASL Info:    18/F/Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 84/113/29
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1043
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1195

       this is something i've written in many pieces, those are all small bits of different poems of mine and i combined them and this is what became. i know, not necessary the best way to write a poem, but i kinda like this. again, weird.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrunken Godsdots

    give me my god,
    a necessary,
    uncomfortable equation,
    poisoned, pleasant, bad, longing
    and a
    sickly beautiful world
    I lie on the ground
    I'm sad, I'm drunk
    my wrists itch,
    Iíd like to scratch, rip sulphur,
    cut deep
    no-one believes
    --fingers numb with the cold
    I kiss the cement
    the darkness tangles around
                   I shiver
    I want home
    there is no such thing
    the shadows grow
                   and strangle
    existentialistic panic
    the colourless reality strikes
    the ugliness of the world comes conspicuous
    no one has yet realized
    life doesnít work
    why not?
    --wake up, this is the Reality, welcome.
    Iíll take myself to another place.

    where is my god now?

    Submitted on 2005-02-21 03:41:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this does fit, the lines really are of a similar cathartic kind which just shows that these poems must have been similar in the first place. Perhaps that says something about the way you write...
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this one to, hella true. deep and dark. this is a good write and a good view of the world today.the ugliness of the world comes conspicuous
    no one has yet realized
    life doesnít work
    why not?
    That part and how you worded it was my favorite. the world is a [censored]ed up place and I don't think the sheep will ever wake up.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]