Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sheerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 593



    Description:
       Just some fun with rhyming, also another expression of the love for my love.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSheerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The moment is near
    The intent is clear
    Devoid of any fear
    Forever you are my dear

    I fight a spear
    Which plunges my ear
    The words never mere
    Poison meant as jeer

    If I were a seer
    To see our year
    Laid out before as peer
    Clarity of thought appear

    Simply to change gear
    And beckon loves pier
    To walk with you here
    Old baggage we shear

    Our moment is near
    Our intent is clear
    We devoid any fear
    Forever YOU are my dear





    Submitted on 2005-02-21 09:18:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      If you know me at all, you know I love the rhyme. This is cute, a little jumpy in places, but it seems like you had fun with it. I like the thought behind it especially in the fourth stanza and your reference to baggage. Guy, we all got baggage. All in all, a good write.

    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Your goal was reached with this poem, a tad silly,fun,yet loving

    Sometimes we just have to write stuff that's isn't trying to change the world or tell a powerful story.

    Good write
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    47674

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry