Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sheerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 593



    Description:
       Just some fun with rhyming, also another expression of the love for my love.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSheerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The moment is near
    The intent is clear
    Devoid of any fear
    Forever you are my dear

    I fight a spear
    Which plunges my ear
    The words never mere
    Poison meant as jeer

    If I were a seer
    To see our year
    Laid out before as peer
    Clarity of thought appear

    Simply to change gear
    And beckon loves pier
    To walk with you here
    Old baggage we shear

    Our moment is near
    Our intent is clear
    We devoid any fear
    Forever YOU are my dear





    Submitted on 2005-02-21 09:18:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      If you know me at all, you know I love the rhyme. This is cute, a little jumpy in places, but it seems like you had fun with it. I like the thought behind it especially in the fourth stanza and your reference to baggage. Guy, we all got baggage. All in all, a good write.

    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Your goal was reached with this poem, a tad silly,fun,yet loving

    Sometimes we just have to write stuff that's isn't trying to change the world or tell a powerful story.

    Good write
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    47674

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry