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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just Being Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PookiezBookie
    ASL Info:    16/f/az
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 103/129/49
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1174
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 526



    Description:
       Thinking


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust Being Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I look into you eyes I see love and it reminds me of the sun that shines above
    and no matter where I am or the time of day
    without hesitation I would stand up and say
    that I do love you till the end of my time
    and I still cant believe that you are mine
    With yourt gentleness and kindness
    my heart fills with joy just the sound of your voice brings me down to my knees and yet the truth lies within your eyes. your lips tell me that you love me and your eyes can show me the world




    Submitted on 2005-02-21 14:38:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Okay lets try this maybe....

    When I look into you eyes I see love
    it reminds me of the sun that shines above
    no matter where I am or the time of day
    without hesitation I would stand up and say
    that I do love you till the end of my time
    I still cant believe that you are mine
    With yourt gentleness and kindness
    my heart fills with joy
    the sound of your voice
    brings me down to my knees
    yet the truth lies within your eyes.
    your lips tell me that you love me
    your eyes can show me the world

    It just works a lot better that way, easier to read and makes more sense
    Okay this was sweet though not my favorite kind of poem.
    Nice work though
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it the way it is. I see you write like me and theres a big differance in meanning the way you wrote it and the way the last comment said to write it. the way the last comment told you write it is saying you cant believe he's still yours now after all the crap. but how you write it ,it saying you cant believe hes still yours as you stand ant tell him you wold love hime for ever. like i said to begin with dont ever change your style of writting. trust me your good its just some people arn't ready for uniqueness and thnk they know everything.if some one tells you to chnge around your words then they probly cant understand it. stayy cool and keep writting these deep poems, I love your writting.
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]


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