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When I look into you eyes I see love and it reminds me of the sun that shines above and no matter where I am or the time of day without hesitation I would stand up and say that I do love you till the end of my time and I still cant believe that you are mine With yourt gentleness and kindness my heart fills with joy just the sound of your voice brings me down to my knees and yet the truth lies within your eyes. your lips tell me that you love me and your eyes can show me the world |
Okay lets try this maybe.... When I look into you eyes I see love it reminds me of the sun that shines above no matter where I am or the time of day without hesitation I would stand up and say that I do love you till the end of my time I still cant believe that you are mine With yourt gentleness and kindness my heart fills with joy the sound of your voice brings me down to my knees yet the truth lies within your eyes. your lips tell me that you love me your eyes can show me the world It just works a lot better that way, easier to read and makes more sense Okay this was sweet though not my favorite kind of poem. Nice work though | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ] | I like it the way it is. I see you write like me and theres a big differance in meanning the way you wrote it and the way the last comment said to write it. the way the last comment told you write it is saying you cant believe he's still yours now after all the crap. but how you write it ,it saying you cant believe hes still yours as you stand ant tell him you wold love hime for ever. like i said to begin with dont ever change your style of writting. trust me your good its just some people arn't ready for uniqueness and thnk they know everything.if some one tells you to chnge around your words then they probly cant understand it. stayy cool and keep writting these deep poems, I love your writting. | | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ] | |