Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Away and Distant


Author: Dollface
ASL Info:    18-f-AK
Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 15 /18 /7
Words: 133
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1801
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 789



Description:


I wrote this for my best friend who i was secretly in love with at the time and he was interested in my best friend from another city... I never did give it to him though...


Away and Distant



She has your heart
But I make you smile
I get to see you every day
She is far across the miles

It's funny how i never know
How I can never tell
if when you say you love me
Its real or just a friends farewell

I probably look too deep
At the things you do and say
But when I hear your voice and watch you
I love your everyway

I'm not the girl of your dreams
At the moment you're the guy of mine
She's so far away and distant
But I'm here time after time

When you wanted to know I told you
When you needed advice you found me
Now I need a shoulder for tears
and your heart's under her lock and key




Submitted on 2005-02-21 15:57:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  hmm....honestly....I'm not hip on the form....it's alittle messy....but I get the message.....I've been there before and I know how much it hurts and sucks. SO as I've said many times before.....as long as it came from the heart and it moves you, then thanks all the matters......keep writing and thank you!
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
  I am presently in love with my best friend who is in love with her baby's father. I have posted several poems regarding it and I know exactly where you're coming from. The poem in itself is honest and sincere as the mood flows throughout it. It also displays how you could not understand why he didn't want you as much as you wanted him. I'm going through it and i know the feeling...Nice honest piece.
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  I think pretty much everyone will be able to relate to this. And going through this really sucks...and I wish you luck. newho. about the poem. I think you did a good job with it...it flows pretty good. but the second stanza is kinda confusing. Maybe you need to re-word it or put in some kind of punctuation to make it easier to understand. I didn't see any typos but that can happen to neone. Nice write.
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by MyKemicalfailur | [ Reply to This ]
  this reminds me so much of my relationship with Elliott. i used to really like him, and he would say and do things that I think i would take too seriously and look too deep into them like you said:

"I probably look too deep
At the things you do and say"

eventually I realized that our friendship is so unque, and that it is better this way than it would have been with any other kind of relationship...i would change nothing about it now. you know, you should really consider giving this poem to him, and if not this, give him something that lets him know just how much he means to you...if you dont do it now, it soon may be too late.
this is a great poem, it truly captures your feelings for your friend, and it is a beautiful work of art. great job! keep in touch!
| Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



47709