Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Clear,Grey Skydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: iluvpoetry_1
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 806/439/119
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 524



    Description:
       just feeling kinda down!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClear,Grey Skydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Looking up into the gray sky and I see the sun trying to peak out telling me, why.

    Why the world should be happy?
    Why the children should be love, and
    I sit there looking,saying, thinking "Why isn't the world happy? Why aren't the children loved?Why can't we all just put aside our diffrences and try to get along? Why can't we just have one day, one day where's there's peace through out the world, with love and harmony instead of hatred and loathing?"




    Submitted on 2005-02-21 18:00:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm 3rd poem written about the skies! You write these poems as you got up? I like this one! Hmm I personally think the world isn't happy and it's been awhile since it's been! Good write keep it up peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem, so full of heart! I wish I could answer these questions for you but some things in this world just don't make sense and there's a lot of pain in the world... it is unfair isn't it?
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I would take out the second comma in your title unless you really just want to list the words 'clear', 'grey' and 'sky'. but I think you meant 'clear, grey sky'. anyway your poem deals with questions that a lot of people ask themselves and that are unanswerable. but in my opinion this is unfinished. I wanted to have some sort of ending. your first sentence made me currious but I didn't get anything besides those questions that I can't answer. that's not really satisfying. and it ends so sudden. give it a real ending. one that shows how desperate and lost the world is or one that is pleasant. that's up to you. but you leave your reader hanging here. you don't really have to answer the questions. just tell about a little incident which makes your view on those questions visible.
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    47720

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry