A model of perfection, malfunctioned,
Torn out of the divine cloth,
Full of wisdom and splendor,
Yet "slanderer” was the name he took,
Turning the wings against there master,
Until they puffed up with pride,
And died away with condemnation,
An army of fallen ones,
Fallen from grace
Like that of their leader.
An anointed cherub no more,
| i liked this but i think your title is misleading as you state that the cherub is no longer announted. i was struck by the title because i love the word cherub. i wrote something called the Apocalyptic Cherub that you might enjoy. i especially liked your line about the morning stars falling from grace. nice touch.||| Posted on 2005-04-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ] || Hmmm...I like the topic you chose and the simplicity with which you tried to portray something all of us think about. Criticism? I guess you intended 'their' instead of "there". Lucifer was the bright morning star, you have used "morning stars". I like the way you written the piece but a lil more care into the details would have made it much better. Keep at it..you will get better.||| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by kochu | [ Reply to This ] || I actually like having morning stars plural. Lucifer took a host of angels down with him, so in a sense a lot of morning stars did fall. You tend to waver between singulars and plurals. In the begining there is one, the he, then there is the army of fallen ones then there is the singular cherub. It makes the poem a tad confusing, but I happen to like the idea of one pulling many down. On the whole I like it.|
|| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ] || a good image of the D-mans fall. i think flows very well. most poems on this topic have more of a religous feel, this one doesnt so i like it. and i think it reads better with morning stars also so dont change it. take care and write another. ||| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ] || I love the Bible, so anything written on it always makes me curious on people views.|
I really like the subject matter which you spoke of, though I would love for you to go into details about the battle between the angels and why they are considered fallen.
In the whole, the poem was good and lightly painted the truth. What I love the most about the poem,is I learn a little bit more about through it, You Love of God shows,bravo
|| Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ] |