[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Orgasm (Haiku)dots

    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Haiku/Passion
    Total Views: 1534
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 87

       Simple but descriptive accounting.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOrgasm (Haiku)dots

    Her release a song
    Delivered raw in pure verse
    Crescendo of love

    Submitted on 2005-02-22 08:12:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was quite clever even though I normally loathe haiku. I love really NOISY sex partners! So this reminds me of some of those.
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Edna Sweetlove | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Describing a orgasm through haiku. Me like. I never thought that anyone could do that. Even though I ve turned love poems into haiku poetry, I never thought of putting descriptions of orgasms into it. Thats so tight. But I'm sure any talented person can do that. Thats the first orgasmic haiku poem that I have ever read. I mean, its right to the point. Gosh, I wish more people who are so passionate could write haiku besides on nature. YOu can write it on many subjects. Even I knew that. I've probably written over 40 haikus now. Well, great job. I wanna read more from you.
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Heat | [ Reply to This ]
      sexy, verr verr
    i liked it. in fact i like any haiku that isn't about nature. good job at not writing it about nature. lol. bye~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      ohhh...i wish i could write haiku's!...anyone got any tips?...Ben this is lovely! to the point and such a tender subject to verse!Well done on it! *appluades!*
    leigh x
    | Posted on 2005-04-19 00:00:00 | by sunkissed_raven | [ Reply to This ]
      Ben just for my own clarity lol this is a Senyru not Haiku dealing with human nature right? And so beautifully done I love it! "Crescendo" is just a pretty word to look at and to say. This senryr speaks volumes in passion keep writing them for us. `always poetry, cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      haikus are beautiful
    if done right
    you did right

    Interesting subject for it though
    personally id go on for three pages
    theres so much said in three simple lines
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by NeonOrangePrize | [ Reply to This ]
      Not the conventionl haiku using nature to unfold an ideal but contemporary/senryu. Correct 5-7-5 format. This just reads so eloquently but also so vividly I read a song beening release as if it is being born or a women experiencing loves sweet sexual release. Two poems in one masterfully achieved! Japanese haiku have no titles and this haiku/senryu can fly without one.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I thought a haiku was too confining to discribe such an event as an orgasm, but once again the simple path proves to be the best. You did a very nice job here. Using a song as a vehicle to show the feeling is a good touch. The crescendo line is also well chosen. All in all a well crafted piece. Thanks for the read! dmm
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
    Your words fit perfectly into the form and the passion you meant to show.
    Although, being more about humans' nature than the natural world, I'd call it senryu.
    Which would be just like haiku in construction, but with a human theme of some kind, rather than nature-themed.
    I agree with dmm...the choice of 'song' really carried the piece.
    I liked it very well.
    A new fav for me.
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      ohhh ahhh!!....Love it !!...What an incredibly beautiful way of describing it ...I truly love it ...Using a song as the bases of what she feels is just...*sigh* ...Sorry im in awe and i dont even like Haiku .....
    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say, it's an interesting haiku, but I'm just not a haiku person, so I liked it, but not all that much. No offense, just something like that needs a lot of description
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      What you can say with so few words! I am just starting to study haiku and there is alot of material out there, alot of thought forms. opinions, etc. I am by no means an expert. Your words were strung together seemingly effortlessly and I want to put this on my bedroom mirror in lipstick. Magnolia
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Your Lover written by Cordell
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Every..... written by jackz
    Linger written by saartha
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    True Death written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]