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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Brick Walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katj
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 103/89/24
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 818
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       Tell me what you think.


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    dotsBrick Walldots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I look into the mirror,
    I donít know what I see,
    I donít know who I am,
    Or what Iíll be.

    When you look at yourself,
    You see somebody.
    You know where youíll end up,
    You know youíll be fine,
    I wish I could be like that.

    I feel so lost,
    There is a brick wall,
    Stunting my path.
    I canít walk around it,
    The wall goes on eternally,
    I canít jump the wall,
    Its height is massive.

    I wish there was a way,
    To knock down the wall,
    In destruction.
    But itís hopeless,
    The only direction I can go is back.




    Submitted on 2005-02-22 16:21:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      you captured that hopeless feeling that i was always afraid to write about in this metaphor. i see some comments on this poem are not very nice.. that is because it lacks origenality and is very clichť. but i am glad that these meanies didnt stop you from writing or growing as a poet. KEEP WRITING...
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      That is fair crap! its absolutely useless! i actually laughed at your feeble attempt to write! this is pathethic. First of all write about something that hasn't been wrote about a million times before. be original for gods sake.PM me when you write something worth reading.
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by RichieHM | [ Reply to This ]
      There is always a way to get around things you just need to try. It is very dark and just not to be mean look to the bright side of things... Good luck
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by Starry Eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      There is always a way to get around things you just need to try. It is very dark and just not to be mean look to the bright side of things... Good luck
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by Starry Eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      ya i h8 dat feeling
    like u stuck in a well
    u cant get out
    n least u can go bac
    i cant go bac front up or down
    grimmafied this sux
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you depressed, if not this was good insight into the mind of someone who is. You should try to use more original metaphors, dig deep and you will find images that would not have appeared on the surface.
    | Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by african_skin | [ Reply to This ]


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