I'M A PIMP by rytrsbloc

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Submission Name: I'M A PIMP dots

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Author:	rytrsbloc
Elite Ratio:	3.82 - 43/49/14
Words:	143

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	632
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	864

Description:
What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

I'M A PIMP dots

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Pimp juice running down her thigh
Take me in lets make you high
Lift you up, crash you into the sun
Bruise your mind when it’s all done
Sitting like a cracked out whore begging pleading
You want more
To twist you up and make you scream
Are you getting what I mean?

The blood is running down your lip
The body breaking, your heart just slipped
Into a world of sweet remorse
Of once known pleasure turned brutal force
I like the power that I yield
Are you getting what I mean?

I step into the nights’ cold air
All pristine princesses, do beware
I’ll take pure white and make it brown
I’ll rub your parts and make you drown
Into the playa you now see
True pimps forever
You know what I mean?

Submitted on 2005-02-22 18:31:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  I love this poem, the imagery is excellent and the repetition of "You know what i mean" ,brings the poem to another level. Looking forward to your next poem.
| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by african_skin | [ Reply to This ]
  I also like the repetition and enjoyed your poem. I thought the rhyming was great- it completly flowed and didn't seem forced at all. Great stuff, keep at it.
-Katj
| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by Katj | [ Reply to This ]
  you really took pimpin to another level with this poem and just as mentioned before repetition is good in poetry because it keeps the reader drawn in. Play on playa...hehe
| Posted on 2005-02-22 00:00:00 | by concrete_rose | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a kinda cruel poem but i like it. i see what you mean though and it was good.

well i hope to read more of your work .
love tina
| Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
  this had a lot more excitement compared to your other poems and i was glued to it till the end. it was a good write and it self explanitory if you know the situation of a *pimp*. I liked how this flowed off the toung it was all in sequence and was a *thriller* in a way.

ACE keep on writing
| Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
  Man, i love this poem girl, keep it up..
A who sey u cyan write???
lol
I see all the images as you go though the poem.. Not too long, not too short
Perfect. I wouldnt change anything about it.

By the way the first stanza is my favorite..

Want more, more, more

Catch ya lata.."Pimp"

lol
| Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by ariesmind | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a good poem, The imagery is definitely good, but you just broke a major rule. You don't be tellin what P.I.M.P's do behind closed doors.

Pool out your pimp hand book and studdy it again
Ghost Child
| Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by Ghost Child | [ Reply to This ]

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