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ASL Info:    30/F*GA
Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 44 /68 /23
Words: 306
Class/Type: Poetry /Trapped
Total Views: 935
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1831




Talking To Myself Again

As I sit here by myself
I recall the things you saidE
Every word you’ve ever spoken
Replaying inside my head.

Once I had a dream
Once I had a goal
And then you came along
And stole away my soul.

Now I’ve lost so many days
Since you and I first met.
I see how much I’ve changed
But I am not dead yet.

If I keep going this way
If I keep you around
I will never get it all back
My dreams never will be found.

I want my life back now
Without it I can’t succeed
It is time I make this right again
I will not be a victim of your greed.

Stop! You’re hurting me!
It is all YOUR fault
Please. It HAS to be.

I would NEVER do this to you
I could never be that cruel.
I am too smart, too kind and loving
To make someone my fool.

You are breaking my heart
Can’t you hear? Can’t you see?
I can’t carry around this pain
It is just too much for me.

Everyday that keeps repeating
Just keeps killing me more and more.
If I don’t walk away now
I may never reach the door.

You can’t follow me this time
And I refuse to let you lead.
You will only hold me back
This is not what I need.

I would be hurting only myself
IF I were to cut these ties.
But both of us can’t stay here
We must say our goodbyes.

Don’t try to keep me here
We both know I have to go
If things don’t get better soon
You will be the first to know.


Submitted on 2005-02-23 10:25:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Torn was way to harsh, Actually when a person is feeling frustrated by the life they have let themselves live,knowing all to well that it just wrong. This is the result, a poem out of frustration, not a piece of art. Its has poetic trapped feeling to it. The other part that bother me about torn comment, I dislike, she never offered you help or give you an example of how to write better. See, i know nothing about how long u been writing, so age doesn't really count,nor do I know what kind of education in poetry do you have. Plus everyone on this site has different levels of skills. This site is about helping other and being supportive.

I will gladly help you. Kindness is free and a womderful gift all should offer without strings.
| Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  I must not have read the same book as t0rn that states after a certain age you no longer feel fear, anger, hurt, and confusion.

I will agree however that this write does need some type of muscle. it is weak in some areas.
as far as it being cliché or predictable...HELLO! of course it's going to be. i mean we are all human right? i'm sure at one point of everyones life they've sat there and debated leaving or staying.

for your sake and coming from a very personal point of view...get out. even if your not suffering from physical abuse he will slowly kill you...killing your spirit is just as bad as losing your life. I suffered through this myself for three years yet loving him too much to let go. it finally took me being put in a very serious situation of being injuried or killed before i said goodbye. It hurts, i cry but i know in time i'll be better. much of luck to you in your personal life.
as far as writing, dont let a few sharp comments stick you too deep. I've had quite a few of them myself...but like a stray dog that's been fed...i wont go away lol

hope to see more of you.
| Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  This seems psychopathic to say the least and it is not original. The first line says talking to myself again and it ends up going into a struggle about getting out. Are you trying to get out of yourself? Do you have two personalites? What in the hell is in that water in Georgia? This was more of rant than poetry and can use some adjusting. Dig deeper! Think harder! The right words will come. These are definitely not the right ones.
| Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  I've been there before and as a bi-polar who spent many years not taking my medication or just not in a good spiritual state of mind I appreciate the fear, loathing and trying to disconnect from having something in your head that won't seem to go out. It bothers me when people share & the comments are not critiques they are just mean. Hang in there girl! Love, Peace, Joy! Epiphany (ps: I'm 34 so don't let them tell you about your age!)
| Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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