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    dots Submission Name: Before I Dieddots

    Author: omnipotent
    ASL Info:    17/F/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 82/63/23
    Words: 491
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2838


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    dotsBefore I Dieddots

    It's funny how I always tend to remember what you said even when I can't stand to remember what happened.
    I feel it's been so long since the last time you seemed to have cared.
    A past life, it seems.
    Had I known what I know today, I don't believe I would've given in a second time or a third.
    Like a whole world gone up in flames right before my eyes, I denied the fact that I was ever there.
    Ashamed with grief and oblivious disregard, she got the best of you.
    And now that I seem to recall, your mind was never made up.
    I kindly considered the facts, and my world came crashing down in fatality.
    You never even knew yourself, so how could I possibly demand the truth from one who hadn't known it at all.
    I'm sorry for coming down on you the way I did.
    I don't bear in mind ever apologizing.
    I'm sorry for never being the bigger person about it.
    You always seemed to understand, even when the odds were against you and the whole world stared in angry remorse.
    How could I be so selfish?
    Lying there alone on the bed the victim lay limp.
    But who was being spoken of?
    I don't remember telling you that I loved you.
    But I recall the delicate words parting with my lips to follow suit.
    I meant it.
    If, at any moment, you had your doubts, I hereby clarify them.
    I loved you.
    And now that time has taken its toll, I don't know where I stand anymore.
    If you came back, would the empire fall to its destruction voluntarily?
    If you came back, would I stand strong and smile honestly?
    The way I never could when you spoke about her?
    I have so everything to be sorry for, but you.
    I don't ever remember you being unreasonable.
    Your cool, calm eyes never ceased to put me on tenterhooks.
    Hoping that you would somehow decide to stay for me.
    This whole world has lied to me.
    You left in ten days.
    And I never opened my mouth to ask anything of you.
    No more.
    And if I could tell you now, I wouldn't for a second delay myself.
    If I could tell you now, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you that I hardly survived without you.
    Honestly speaking though, I don't think you'd care to know these days.
    An incredible girl, but I was never whom you spoke of.
    I could never tire of you.
    I would've given anything to see you one more time.
    To fall to my knees and beg you, one last time, to love me just as I love you.
    I would've given anything to know, one last time before I died, that I was your only one.
    For always and ever, that I was the only one.

    Submitted on 2005-02-23 10:32:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow. it sounds so real, and it really gives me a view, not of the steps as Beulah says, but of my own lover, who waited so long for me to see them, and it really feels like it opens old wounds. powerful.
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by eowyn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so haunting and sad... I picture you sitting on steps with your head in your hands - helpless, hopeless and forsaken as you cry out to be recognised and acknowledged. The words paint a picture of someone with regret and pain for their actions and praying for forgiveness in order to absolve themselves from their deeds. Even though... with a desperate plea to be loved... "For always and ever, that I was the only one" - such a poignant line. Very well written.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]

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