Description: Just a little piece I wrote on a night-time walk by the pond. The lily when photographed in the red lens of the flashlight came out looking electric.
Great Day to All!
Love, Peace, Joy!!!
Electric Lily -------------------------------------------
Green & Yellow
Flame of Nightz
Fenced in Bellow
Eyes of Sightz
Krizp brite Kolorz
H20 2 Floorz
Feel 1 Love
Here & Above
For peole who love nature...great. For me not great. The spelling of the words I know was intentional yet distracting. I can see how you thought that it fits the electirc theme but it does not add to the beauty you tried to transcend on paper. It takes away. I like the word play in lines six and seven. Very nice. Just not my type of literature.
I liked the title, Electic Lily...pretty cool. Reminds me of the old Cult song, Electric Ocean, HA! The letter "Z" never gets enough use and I think you did a good job with it here. I will forever be a defender of the letter "Z"...its tough being the last in line, hee-hee. Thats all I'z gotz to zay about zat. This message has been brought to you by the numbers 2, 7 and 3 and by the letter T.
Its a very interesting piece, quite original. I liked the title, peculiar and beautiful like the poem. As i was reading it I could picture the colours, its a very vivid poem with an atmosphere of its own. Unconventional poetry always thrills me. Nice one!