Description: Yeah the kidd is back to check out my stuff n leave some feed back , 1
“Do it with intensity” -------------------------------------------
As I look out.. looked out
To the sky, endless possibilities seem to fly by..
Stars that cry though words often lie..
Changing my mind, like the moon to sunshine..
And she cries…
Cries throughout the Night
The moons bright lights and Plight cures her pain
From clouds of Hope to Arms of vain
Pray our love will thrive.. Not choke up with pain…
Hold me ever so tight
Hold me yes, hold me right
Just remember.. Don’t put out the Light
And as I lay you,
Lay you down to bed
I remember one thing.. Only one thing you said…
“Don’t Love me quietly…Do it with intensity,”
Feel every moment as it were your last
Once this Nights passed..
So as you hold –me , Hold me well
Look with my heart.. and slowly
Peal the shell
Uncover my soul and look within me..
But never forget the promise
You made me…
Don’t- Love-me-quietly. .Do it
i thinkt he rhyme fist the tone of the piece, as i read it muchmroe as i would a song lyric than some poem on the page. i think the majority of your stuff that ive read begs to be read aloud. i wish i could hear you perform it...i love the intimacy of this piece,as well as the set up with the imagery of the moon and light...i love love love the message fo loving someone intensely...i mean, what other way is there? and what else is ther ein this life but intese love? not much of importance! <3 cait
i gota agree with Brownsdelight, im seeing this get a massive applause at a funky underground reading! if im interpreting it correctly then this is 1 damn physically intense poem . . .HOT STUFF! P.s. i dig your writin style
This is really sexy stuff! I enjoyed reading this one very much! I read it twice! I thought the expression of feelings is very passionate and very tastefully written! The rhyme and flow are both very good! "Don't love me quietly, do it with intensity" is just great! Really hot stuff in this write and I can't find anything I didn't like about it! "Feel every moment as it were your last" is another awesome line! This is a definite fave! Tremendous poem!
Wow this is so genuine and different...you spoke to my soul, probaly cause it felt like you knew me...This is a meticulous piece crafted with passion and doesnt lose the reader..You have an ingenious quality to captivate the reader with your simple yet good choice of diction...I loved this piece...My fav verse:"Don’t- Love-me-quietly. .Do it With intensity…"