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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing is Realdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katj
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 103/89/24
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing is Realdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wadding in a pool of sorrow,
    Excruciating pain unbeknownst to me.
    In a state of discomfort,
    Waiting for my duration to end,
    In my artificial self.

    Nothing is real,
    My thoughts so confusing.
    Everything I thought I knew,
    Was all just an act,
    A whirl-wind of deception.

    Iím isolated and ignored,
    Alone in my head,
    Which is forever worse.
    Aching for answers,
    I donít know how to escape it.




    Submitted on 2005-02-23 20:53:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Alright...well, the poem has got me interested that is for sure, since its format was appealing and words didn't seem bunched together. As i was reading it, i noticed that some words are too general, which can't always contribute to your own feelings, but may be that is what you tried to achieve, common words and feelings. Yet, it also seems to be isolating, as if only you were cheated by something or someone, and the deception sorrounds you and not necessarily everyone else. If that isolation was part of your motif, then there are some points to which i can relate, when nothing seems real, all just an act. I felt very cheated when i had to endure lonliness while everyone else though seemingly kind and caring had only gave me emptyness and that is why i felt alone. Now that i read it the fourth time, i think it actually presents a variety of motives, ideas, and feelings, which represents a complex nature of human being. Was any of the above what you tried to convey?
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by Ms. DejFruit | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... very expressive i love it... it definetely catches your attention.. i once heard.. "the best poetry is the poetry that comes from within" is this from within?? it feels like it.. lots of emotion.. it reminds me of myself.. i could never write it like that... i would not have changed anythign i think its perfect.. it definetely has an original feeling.. Keep on writing that great stuff... :)
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by manderz_1207 | [ Reply to This ]
      okay i got good news and meby bad news. the bad news is i think you spelled somethings wrong but im not good at spelling so if i'm wrong then you didn't...oops that didn't make much sence! the good news is it's a good poem it flows well and it has alot of emotion. i no how you feel bout something being wrong and being ttrapped by it not knowing when it will stop it also seems you don't know what the problem is all i can say is trust me when you know what's wrong you'll feel worse. but look at the bright side it could be alot worse then it is now and things will get better!...i hope...
    c ya around,
    mheracai
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]
      okay i got good news and meby bad news. the bad news is i think you spelled somethings wrong but im not good at spelling so if i'm wrong then you didn't...oops that didn't make much sence! the good news is it's a good poem it flows well and it has alot of emotion. i no how you feel bout something being wrong and being ttrapped by it not knowing when it will stop it also seems you don't know what the problem is all i can say is trust me when you know what's wrong you'll feel worse. but look at the bright side it could be alot worse then it is now and things will get better!...i hope...
    c ya around,
    mheracai
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that if this poem does come from within you think nothing is real because you're not real to yourself or else something you've based your life on has turned out to be nothing more than a lie, thats just what i get from it and i like it because i always lie to myself
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by monophobic | [ Reply to This ]
      i feel connected to this...masterpiece. i feel like this poem was meant for me to read...of course i'm hopped up on a bunch of antihistamines...Allegra-D and Ni_Quil...so i'm not sure what i'm saying...
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by AngryAtTheWorld | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved your poem, its was strong emotionaly, and I actually felt through your words how you felt, and how you wanted the poem to feel. I can deffinitely relate. Much Love, Jade
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by JADE | [ Reply to This ]
      You expressed EVERYTHING perfectly, the sheer hopelessness we all feel...I like the concept of the "artificial self" it is ironically very real. The first word is spelt "wading" only one "d". With the spelling you have, it means something completely different. The last line adds to the feelings of hopelessness (even desperation). It is very penetrating. This poem and the feeling you convey are quite real contrary to the title. GOOD WRITE.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by rytrsbloc | [ Reply to This ]


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