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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: blackrose remixdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cutendemented
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 30/36/14
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 944
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 297



    Description:
       this is just redone


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsblackrose remixdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Beautiful to the twisted minds soul
    Love for the pleasure of pain
    All that makes me feel hole
    Constant thoughts brought all in vain
    Kill my body
    Rape my mind
    Oblique thoughts running though my head
    Sentiments of rough sex
    Eminence at the bed




    Submitted on 2005-02-23 23:38:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was good. i liked it alot becuase it was short and sweet you sed what you wanted to say and it didnt seem choppy. not many people can do that
    | Posted on 2005-02-23 00:00:00 | by broken_dreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      beautifully human. a good way to depict desire and everything attached to it. "constant thoughts all in vein..." as in losing oneself to the need for delirium... to find freedom between the sheets.

    i have just a few concerns, though.

    " Beautiful to the twisted minds soul
    Love for the pleasure of pain
    All that makes me feel hole
    Constant thoughts brought all in vain
    Kill my body
    Rape my mind
    Oblique thoughts running though my head
    Sentiments of rough sex
    Eminence at the bed "

    was the piece made deliberately as it is or...

    "Beautiful to the twisted mind's soul
    Love for the pleasure of pain
    All that makes me feel whole
    Constant thoughts brought all in vain
    Kill my body
    Rape my mind
    Oblique thoughts running through my head
    Sentiments of rough sex
    Eminence at the bed"

    if i might have over stepped my boundaries, i'm sorry... coz i really feel that typos (if they were typos) might bring it down.

    anyway, this piece is good.

    like i said. beautifully human.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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