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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pale walls and white sheetsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ellisa
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 400/415/125
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1005



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPale walls and white sheetsdots
    -------------------------------------------





    Why fall away
    From me
    Away from us
    Why buy me carnations
    To die on my tables
    Spreading their death
    Brown dead
    Like rotten apples
    As I walk by
    Disturbing their
    Long sleep

    Cradles
        rock empty

    Coffins
        burn full

    Iíve nothing much to say
    To you, but youíre the one
    Iíll go on talking anyway


    Spent my money
    On bright clothes
    Best not to burn my pockets
    People stare
    You know who theyíre for
    I wear Me
    For You


    Some say Jonson chose Venice
    Some say that genres are classified
    Iíve nothing much to say
    These days, pale walls and white sheets
    Fill those dreams
    In this unreality
    Hello, you
    You know
    Iíve nothing
    But you









    Submitted on 2005-02-24 14:46:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked reading this piece. It strikes pretty close to home with me, so it kind of resonates this truth with a refreshing level of similarity. What it sounds like is a relationship that used to be seemingly perfect, but now all the things that were cute are kind of annoying. And I know what it's like to kind of set up your life around somebody and feel them slipping away. That's the way I read this, and if you meant something else, I'm willing to listen to your story. This is a new favorite of mine, so thank you for writing it.
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by _proper_noun_ | [ Reply to This ]
      pretty good write. I like the style used to write this it was put togeather really good. keep up the skill.Why buy me carnations
    To die on my tables
    Spreading their death
    Brown dead
    Like rotten apples
    As I walk by
    Disturbing
    this is the part I liked the best. I feel that way, why even try?
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I enjoyed reading it, though I'm hardpressed to say why. I get the idea that it's a love slipping away type of poem, but I don't get most of the imagery. Most of it seems to have nothing to do with that - unless that's your point , that this monumental thing is happening in your life, the person you love is leaving, and the world goes on around you, unknowing and unfeeling. Did I get it, huh, did I?

    Spent my money
    On bright clothes
    Best not to burn my pockets
    People stare
    You know who theyíre for
    I wear Me
    For You

    This is the stanza I liked the best - I loved the "best not to burn my pockets", that was really cute, but I also loved the last 2 lines,
    I wear Me/For You. Ain't it the truth?

    Tell me if I missed everything completely. If I did, then I have no idea what this poem is saying. Sigh. mae
    | Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]


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