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    dots Submission Name: tied to you alwaysdots

    Author: shootingstar
    ASL Info:    22/f/hell
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 102/120/21
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1255
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 436

       this one is not meant to be suicidal. true enough i am waiting for the end, not of life, but the end of this confusion and heartache. i know what i want, he does not.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstied to you alwaysdots

    I've practiced every word
    Which will never be spoken
    And cursed all the ties
    Which will never be broken
    Now i kneel beside you
    Pathetic and bare
    Begging for the bullet

    These cold lacerations
    That burn with your taste
    Scream for the memories
    That won't be erased
    Now I stand before you
    Arms open and waiting
    So pull the trigger

    Submitted on 2005-02-25 12:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, 2 words: short and sweet. yet the last word wouldn't tie in completely...but it does sort of.
    i loved the idea behind it, the whole metaphore was really risky but you worked past it.
    try to avoid putting capitals at the beginning of every line. you don't need them, its like saying that each line is a new sentence, or if the sentence continues onto the next like, you're randomly putting a Word(like that) in the middle of the line...which isnt exactly grammatically correct unless it's intentional.
    nice work, i enjoyed it very much.
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]

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