Lol that waqs funny. But there are different meanings to that last phrase. I understand it but I want to know how you understand it. It's cool to know that there's poeple out htere who have got their priorities straight ( more or less). As much as it is to know that there's someone who wants someone so much like me. But out of curiosity, why so short? (that's my height and I'm only 14)
oh wow i love this. you remind me somewhat of langston hughes. i typically despise poetry that rhymes because it often sounds fake and as if the writer is tryin too hard but you've written something very nice here. but it seems you tripped up in the last few stanzas like you were running out of ideas. just let the words flow. don't worry about rhyming.
lol, um, WORD! seriously awesome. if only it were that easy! me, my order would be "please have a pulse". seriously though, this flowed well, wasnt' too flowery, had consistent rhyme scheme...you've done well again
I will admit though the flow was interupted for me with this stanza
Hold the nagging, extra sweet A side order of passion Never plans to make love When it happens it happens
I had a smile on my face until I got here then I kinda did a HUH? then I re read it a second time and was like okay yea it does have the same flow as the rest. I'm not sure how to tweak it so that it flows the first time...and lol it might have just been me who thought this. :)
I love this. I loved this poetry. I was reading it, it was actually kinda sounding like a song when I read it. Very much details. This had a sucessful flow. I don't care what the other people might've wrote. I thought it was really good. It must be a very amazing girl Good luck
Five foot three.. not five foot five??? SorryI was thinking of puffy's... why she hs to cook but not like to eat?and we women do not nag if you men didn't give us something to nag about... I like that you know that you gotta have something to bring to the table.... hope to read more..........
Yo this shyt is hot and i like the twist in the end,,, guess u didnt specify in the order that u aint want a money grabbing [censored]... But seriously brother , this piece is amazing man. Man, i see this girl that u painted right in front of me...
I like this stanza.
"A conservative thinker Hold the disdain and pride Let me get a social drinker Own place, own ride"
Overall that was funny...yeah cute...but thats the way the world works. If you want a girl that's so puuuurfect toting the luggage in the back, long hair, looking all perfect, cooks but doesn't eat...I'm gettin sooo angry...then yuh have to pay for that bull[censored]. Plus if your tooting for black pride why the hell is being light skinned a plus in your puuurfect book. It shouldn't matter.Next...your order looks like yuh looking for a pretty personal assistant and if your hiring yuh have to pay. It's all superficial and if yuh want superficial yuh get superficial!TRUE? Overall it was witty but...I'm probably just in a funky mood...:)
Not to sound weird, but when I read it to myself, I couldn't help but rap...Was that an effect you were going for? The syntax is spectacular...just a peppy sort of rhythm that makes you wanna keep reading! Great job!
Boi! Just gotta say this. I was thinking of me when you're spinning dat [censored]! Lol, but sry, I'm five foot one. and I love to eat. Well sorry, but I don't plan on making love until after I'm married. I'm hispanic, so I'm medium toned skinned. LOL! All this stuff came out awesome, and the rhyming...wow! And oh jeez, I have a true love for the Lord! Well, why didn't you just say, you're looking for Amy! lol well, this was a fun piece. I hope someone fills your order, and it would be me, but I'm guessing you're not nto fourteen year olds lol!
Listen, what the [censored] is this that yuh post on an intellectual site. How old are you? How can you say this [censored]? You are a black African man, and respectfully you need to know yourself and your fellow black women. These characteristics listed are not of black women, don't lie to yourself, say what you really mean and what you really want. Brother you need to go back to Africa. I think that a society saturated with images of women with long flowing hair, cowering under the wings of this big macho men has clouded your vision and turned you into a shallow, superficial, one-dimensional individual. I hope that all in all this was Just a poem and truly there is some depth in your existence. DOES THAT COMPLETE YOUR ORDER?
Why the hell is everyone getting pissed over what he made this person look like? I think that's really stupid is that all of you are [censored]ing about that and not commenting on the poem. Great job, I loved the ending, it reminds me of a few people I know in life. I hope you write more soon!
In case you didnt notice, this page is the canvas for Mr x. Who cares what his preference in women are, and of course there are alot of black women who fit that description...
i know many sisters that fit that description.
we are here to support our fellow writers (specially my brothers and sisters)
and believe me, this brutha right here, is headed for big things. And if you checked out his writings, you would see he has many dimensions, and more depth than most of us.. And my nigga here dont lack in tha intelligence part either...