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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Genocide Goodbyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890/865/108
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 810



    Description:
       I know what genocide is... lmao.... its a metaphor in this situation... I wrote this for you grinninggashes, muah, love ya babe. :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGenocide Goodbyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silver cast sky
    plated in onyx stars
    lay close to the sun burning flesh
    starlet scars.
    Scarlet nails
    body so fare
    a great deafening, obliterated tears
    a great awakening, tormenting fears.
    Genocide among us
    a raping of our time,
    you stole hearts from me
    a delivery of gray flowers to call mine.
    A shadow of your hands
    hide trapped eyes
    and here you are with a mouth of lies
    the crow flew
    from my tired shoulders
    I cannot hold anymore of your worthless control.
    I'm writing in reply to your blossoms of death
    I'm sealing it tight with emotions of regret
    I've bent to perfection
    and broken astray
    kiss this good bye
    its a brand new day.




    Submitted on 2005-02-25 18:41:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      damn... your wording is so original! THe title, the feelings... it's like... well i cant think of anything right now... it's like the words are a vapor that condensed onto paper and froze over in a crysaline pattern of letters and words... songs of the gods spoken in sillence...
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way the rhyme scheme jumps to several different style yet the flow is still continuous. yet again you have floored me with your talent.

    -BB-
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by BloodBaptism | [ Reply to This ]
      You have some great vocabulary...I like the way you pair your words. Haha don't you just hate when someone questions if you know what you are writing (certain words) ofcourse we know...otherwise we wouldn't write it.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by SammySueYou | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that...the pairing of scarlet scars with scarlet nails...pairing surface matter with whats DEEP within...the trivial with the not so trivial... A delivery of gray flowers to call mine... a love brought you horrible things.(a burden)...TRUE QUALITY...'nough said... also "fare" should be "fair"
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by rytrsbloc | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this alot, really great imagery...yeah, I only saw one mistake, but I'm not sure if you meant to make spell it that way for a reason, or what, but it should be spelled "fair".Okay, I must say my favorite imagery in this was
    "Silver cast sky
    plated in onyx stars"
    I loved the image I got from that.Great write.
    camoflage
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has such a free-style beat. It seems like a heady urban flow. Nice. I like the imagery paired with the syncopation. This is a really good write. Way to go
    | Posted on 2005-02-25 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome and one more AWESOME! lol, catch ya later...hope you had a good weekend...
    | Posted on 2005-02-27 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ]


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