Silver cast sky
plated in onyx stars
lay close to the sun burning flesh
starlet scars.
Scarlet nails
body so fare
a great deafening, obliterated tears
a great awakening, tormenting fears.
Genocide among us
a raping of our time,
you stole hearts from me
a delivery of gray flowers to call mine.
A shadow of your hands
hide trapped eyes
and here you are with a mouth of lies
the crow flew
from my tired shoulders
I cannot hold anymore of your worthless control.
I'm writing in reply to your blossoms of death
I'm sealing it tight with emotions of regret
I've bent to perfection
and broken astray
kiss this good bye
its a brand new day.
damn... your wording is so original! THe title, the feelings... it's like... well i cant think of anything right now... it's like the words are a vapor that condensed onto paper and froze over in a crysaline pattern of letters and words... songs of the gods spoken in sillence...
You have some great vocabulary...I like the way you pair your words. Haha don't you just hate when someone questions if you know what you are writing (certain words) ofcourse we know...otherwise we wouldn't write it.
I like that...the pairing of scarlet scars with scarlet nails...pairing surface matter with whats DEEP within...the trivial with the not so trivial... A delivery of gray flowers to call mine... a love brought you horrible things.(a burden)...TRUE QUALITY...'nough said... also "fare" should be "fair"
I liked this alot, really great imagery...yeah, I only saw one mistake, but I'm not sure if you meant to make spell it that way for a reason, or what, but it should be spelled "fair".Okay, I must say my favorite imagery in this was "Silver cast sky plated in onyx stars" I loved the image I got from that.Great write. camoflage
This poem has such a free-style beat. It seems like a heady urban flow. Nice. I like the imagery paired with the syncopation. This is a really good write. Way to go
awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome and one more AWESOME! lol, catch ya later...hope you had a good weekend...
Submission Name: Genocide Goodbyes
