Sorry, that's all I can really say. This is one funny sen-ryu like Silverdog said. I also agree that you pulled it off really well. The juxtaposition between the first two lines and the third is great... and a comical image.
great title. you dont need anything else. stright poker faced. no sh-it. no frills. nice. a poem? um no. not really. but good, yes.
the difference betwen the semi colon and colon is quite subtle. the colon: 'A punctuation mark ( : ) used after a word introducing a quotation, an explanation, an example, or a series and often after the salutation of a business letter. and the semi-colon: 'A mark of punctuation ( ) used to connect independent clauses and indicating a closer relationship between the clauses than a period does' so in english, the colon is used to set an example and the semi colon is used to relate one thing to another that are independant though not totally so; relating to each other in some form. hope this helps. and makes sense. take care on1eday.co.uk
I'm not gonna bother nitpicking this. I agree with on1eday that it should have a colon or semicolon, but who cares. A comedy piece gets a lot of leeway...this is just fun...I feel the same way about my dog Larcen. But then again, his royal ass would find most any job beneath him. Cool stuff Michael.
Please, keep reminding me not to take myself too serious.
Love the play on words with the title,brother. Funny little ode to your dog. I am just starting to fiddle with some haiku's myself. The more I think about the title, it becomes funnier and funnier. Hahahahahahhahahahhahh. Magnolia
LOL dude! My dog would be seriously offended by this one cuz she is definately the smartest dog aroung. Hey maybe our dogs should hook up. Oh damn that was tacky. Anyway, not too many people would go out on this limb (I mean seriously dude its about your dog) so kudos to you for that. I dont really know a whole lot about haiku so I cant give much input, other than to say thanks for the laugh.
this cracked me up, as my roomate and i are always telling our cats (we have 10) that they need to get jobs so they can help pay for the food and the litter. they just look at us like we're a bit daft. this is light-hearted and gave me a chuckle on this chilly day. thanks for that!
This is quite succinct and humorous, though Haiku it is not. If I were to classify it , the closest i can think of is a "senyru", (a light-hearted sister of haiku). But whatever, the title word play is funny, and adds to the piece, and there is a conflicting/complementary thought that flashes us in the last line. Some other good sites on haiku/senyru if you are interested are
LOL. In haiku forms, the first two lines or thereabouts, give us an image, and say something about it -soooooo I love my dog Max. He's the smartest one I know.
The last line or so then has a completely different image or thought, which either complements the first 2 lines, or says something totally different, (conflicting, contradictory-) but is still related to the first thought, -that's the proverbial "haiku moment" that either brings a smile or a tear or profound flash of insight.
Your first 2 lines would sound awfully insipid with out that that last "He should get a job..."-that is the complementary/contrasting part, and that's why this is funny. yeah, you can do that You did Silver