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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Writer's Blockdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pinurplepassion
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere in TX
    Elite Ratio:    5.92 - 165/146/17
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1038



    Description:
       This is probably the strangest thing I have ever written. I dont expect it to be thought of as "good" but it seems I have, at least, temporarily lost my feel for the art. This is just my climax of frustration.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWriter's Blockdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hate clichés

    I sit prepared to pour out my thoughts
    like the music of a fine tuned symphony.
    But the same tired shit just pour from my head,
    trickles down my arm and drips out my fingers.

    Some days I am floating, dancing, flying,
    captivated, enamored, and gleeful,
    With glitter stars and moonlight, I glow
    like candle light on a rose petal with your love.

    Other days I am broken, crying, in despair,
    bleeding, starving, wanting to die,
    With broken wings I will drown,
    in the river of shattered dreams you caused.

    This is getting so old.

    I know I have it in me to say my piece,
    but someone pressed delete on my creativity.
    My vocabulary seems to have gone on strike,
    And I am so damn tired of negotiations.

    You're my muse........
    AMUSE ME!
    Give me one good thing I can work with,
    you know I dont speak mime.

    I hate clichés




    Submitted on 2005-02-26 00:59:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the double, "I hate clichés." Nice touch. This is a great topic because of the subject matter. We all have writer's block (obviously) and it just... sucks. You capture it very nicely here. It's almost as if you are arguing with yourself. Very interesting. I loved the candle/love part, the imagery was soothing. Great piece.

    :)

    Jen
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by poetofthenight | [ Reply to This ]
      Clever and amusing even using cliques yourself in this poem lol. But "With broken wings I will drown,
    in the river of shattered dreams you caused." is so presiously worded. Your style of writing displays such different contrast "My vocabulary seems to have gone on strike,". I really like your execution style...baiting i
    Now the title writer block just doesn't do this piece justice. Thanks for the exciting read and by the way I am almost afraid to read your stuff lol! ~always
    with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      I laughed... I enjoyed the subtle (and not subtle) clichés you used while abhoring clichés. Well done! :)

    I hate writer's block, but worse, I hate comment writers block, where when I read your write, I had a lot to say, and now... poof, nadda.

    Darn it.
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      i feel you there, i have the writter block all the time. also the drawing one where i can't or don't know what to draw. it always happens when your happiness is shaddered by one you loved so damn much.
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
      Yiou need to walk outside and tell the stars to go fvuck themselves and the ground to eat your feet. Ask the moon if it still gets a kick out of watching us mill around the planet. Shlt, eat a sandwich and favor the mustard over the mayonnaise because it's yellow, and yellow is the way you feel.

    Whatever you do, don't tell your neighbor to quiet down. Ask him what he's been doing lately that's making all that noise.

    But most of all, look at your own fingernails.
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought that was great, and I agree w/blackrocktractor fuk em all dont let anyone or anything express how you feel for you. This piece is well done. if this is how you tell yourself to snaop out of it then thats great, but don't let anyone say you are so cliché'~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved everything but the title.

    Sure I would say that there are a couple grammar issues like "pour(s)" in the first stanza, but those are pretty small details.

    I think you have done a pretty good job of putting a unique twist on a very very very clichéd subject. The frustration really exudes from the writing.

    That title is just way used up though.


    peace,
    mister fizzle
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      As someone else commented, I think check your grammar/sp (enamoured...although, maybe it's different for Americans). Cleverly done, the poem draws on some clichés like 'broken, crying, in despair' even though the speaker is trying to avoid clichés :) I like that a lot, it's satirical. I like the title, it sums the poem up well, which is what a title ought to do really...drowning in a river of shattered dreams is a good image and I like the contrast between that verse and the preceding one. Personally, I think it would make an even better poem to read if you made it rhyme, but that's only a thought...

    Xaphy
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Xaphy | [ Reply to This ]
      hehe very nice and so like you my dear cousin and frustration is always a nice motivator aint it? by the way you can always use my life for inspiration if you should choose
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by Georgia Gurl | [ Reply to This ]


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