[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Penguinsdots

    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 915
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 254


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Now the past has finally passed
    And the penguins have exited stage left
    And the seeds of my future
    Are in my own hands
    I will be sure to plant well;
    For tomorrows fruits can bear seeds
    For other gardens.

    Submitted on 2005-02-26 04:27:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      For those who are interested...the penguins represented memories frozen in time. When the penguins finally swam away there was freedom form the past.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm... I am not sure what message this is supposed to relay, but having said that, I like the originality and the fact that you mention penguins. :P
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the penguins. Gives it some variety. I decided they were tap-dancers in tuxedos, with the actual word representing life's absurdity, was I right?
    Great images, but consider trimming out the filler phrases, like "And the," "will be sure," "Are in," "can bear," "For other." Just rearrange everything until you squeeze out as many words as possible, and you might get something better. Sometimes I look at something so long I get stuck...
    This might be rude of me, but my typing fingers are itchy.
    Now the past dims,
    The penguins bow offstage
    Seeds scratch my palms
    Eager for planting
    Eager to seed for new gardens.
    I'm not saying that's better, I just wish I'd written the original. Keep working. I've never seen this poem before, you've got something here.
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by Rokhal | [ Reply to This ]
      this was confusing. i didnt understand where the penguins exiting stage left fitted in. i read it without the line and i liked it much better. becuase without the penguin line its a poem about embracing your future even though your scared. just a thought.
    | Posted on 2005-02-26 00:00:00 | by broken_dreamer | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cover written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Every..... written by jackz
    Records I written by Raphael
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]