It's already been said by those earlier, what more can I add? I would like to add that I also see it as a warning, since all readers are the potential meals here, regardless of what they have been deluded into thinking.
Howdy. That was fun 2 read. Very original. It felt dark, and it felt like no1 should mess w/ u, or they will b-come a victim. It gives the vibe th@ you have no mercy, & you are very pwerful. Very nice touch. Ur flow was really cool.v I need 2 learn 2 flow better. Very very good. ttyl -ciao 4 now
I really liked the darkness in that poem...It speaks to the evil in me...its very enjoyable and makes my blood tingle...i think this is another one of my favorites...the whole talk of darkness was appealing
I like the short lines-gives it a staccatto rhythm and keeps you moving through the piece. The hounds are efficient, and get straight to the point. It shows they have confidence in their power, and isn't that what they are all about? Gives a feeling of being pursued, stalked even-if this is about addiction, it captures the feeling of always being just one step away from being captured again. I was distrubed, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
Hmm... Awesome. It's so dark and creepy, but I guess it's creepy in a good sort of way [is that possible?]. The first part-
We'll laugh when you're smiling. We'll shriek when you're crying. We'll grin when you're living. But we'll hunger when you're dying.
Really caught my attention- Like practically everyone else already said, this poem makes you want to read more and more of it, and you end up being so dissapointed when it's over. It could be the first of a whole series of great poems, if you're willing. If you wrote more that followed after this piece, it would all be real exquisite.
Our cards on the table to your dismay your hand full of nothing your scraps decay.
That part really put my mind into the picture. It shows that some parts of life is pretty much gambling, and that you also sometimes can't do anything about it.
We hounds from Hell we'll always comb. Are you too far too far from home?
The "too far from home?" part is an awesome way of restating the statement... A great wrap-up to it all.
Keep it up! I enjoyed every second of reading this poem.
[censored]. i [censored]in loved it. it was dark. i really like the talk of hell and such. it was descriptive and persistant. no way anyone could have taken their eyes off this poem. if all your works this great ur one hell of a writer. keep it up.
A very strong poem, overall, looks definetly polished, and the use of repetitions to reinforce certain lines "you know you love us/ yes you do" and "Are you too far/ too far from home?" appealed to me The quick rhythm you create makes the poem strengthens the feeling that the poem is about something infernal, blazing like fire.
The 'stanza' I liked least was "We've tricked millions/ in our disquise/ you look foolish/ in your demise." I felt it did not add nearly as much to the poem as the rest of the stanzas.
Well written overall! Keep it up, and thanks for your welcome!
I found myself anticipating the next line, and then the next line, it's one of those poems that you wished didn't have to stop. But the writing was amazing, as always. It was a bit scary, but more on the yummy side of scary, as if you want to dip your toes into the darkness, but too nervous to go through with it.
I loved it. Your writing is exquisite and the flow was phenomenal. Can't wait to read more!
( Think you'll do a part 2 to this? That would be excellent!)
Great great write, my eye's where feeding more and more with this one, hope the dog's didn't see. Love the paceing and phases used and not being greedy as to overexpose the plot. Perfect my friend great one.
I can see what you mean about it being fun to write. It looks like it was. Most excellent. It sort of reminds me of something...but I can't think of what it is. I'll let you know when I remember. lol Anyways, excellent read, most of it flowed very nicely. I enjoyed it. :)
I read one of your comments on someone elses work and it referred to this piece. Interesting how this could be interpreted in so many ways. You mentioned that it was about addiction and so I'll take it at that. This is a reall touchy subject to me. I am a recovering addict and have been clean for almost two years now. I won't say I'm no longer addicted because then I'd be lying to myself, once an addict always an addict. I just have to be strong and keep my mind and my heart in the same place. Well, that said, in regards to the piece itself, yes it is a dark piece but it is a dark subject now isn't it. The rhythm of this piece makes it flow really well and I could find no major flaws gramatically. All in all an excellent write. As a matter of fact I think I'm going to add this to my favorites list. -Light
Ummm...do you even need anymore comments on this? I picked it at radom from your selection. Pleasantly surprised at how well written it was. Relgious in a good way. Very much the type of poem I'd write if I matured and remained in a spiraling fit of depression.
Darrrrrrrrrrrrrk it was straight deep and filled such darkness and it told that me that no matter what with everything good there something bad like whe you said "When your crying were smiling" it was hatred , bitterness , and spiteful things in your poem which is why I liked it. I also enjoyed how you fondsomething negative for something positive it made me pounder weather or not you took a long period of time to think of this and if so its some terriffic work and keep at it cause this a straight up "Original" poem and you should also be proud of yourself. 1 love( feel free to ch eck out my poem suicide #1 for k)
dark is the word of the day, yet this poem in some way...amused me. don't get me wrong, i mean, this is really good and gave me a strong image of hounds of hell. or something like that. but at some point it felt like it went "too" dark, a bit over, almost melodramatic (melo-dark?), but i liked it. liking that sort of things. the intro was great
We'll grin when you're smiling. We'll shriek when you're crying. We'll smile when you're living. But we'll hunger when you're dying.
the last lines here really make the chills go down my spine. the whole thing was a neat packet, it had a beginning and an end, which i always find quite problematic to do.
some way the way you expressed the poem was, not boring, but used. not saying it would be a bad thing, but the intro/middle/outro could have been arranged in a more interesting way. but despite that, i found this pretty unique. ive read lots of poems with hounds and hell and lucifer and people's weakness, which all elements i found here, yet this one sends the chills down me spine(as i said earlier). goodgoodgood. strawberries with a sponfull of wickedness and a pinch of fear.