Description: Just your opinions of like and dislike, favourite parts, your interpretation. For me it is about a certain someone, which like the moon i sometimes see less of and some nights none at all, but I know he is still there and will constantly return.
behind the ebony -------------------------------------------
A constant, a cycle
above all the chaos.
waxing and waning,
gone but not lost.
rounded, rich glow,
in the empty sky.
To naked black,
hidden from the eye.
behind the ebony,
erternal shine
veiled in the emptiness,
but still there to find.
ello aimee. i'm kinda embarassed to say this but i would not have probably had the slightest clue what it was about if i hadn't had read the description. but i guess thats what they're there for. so after reading the poem... and description, i see that the subject ties in wonderfully into the write. in fact quite beautifully. don't take it as me returning the favor, but this is probably one of my favourites.
Hi, I'm starting at the start. This is very nice, almost wistful and melancholic, I don't know if you meant it to read so sadly, maybe it's your true wishes of this person coming out in your poem. You have a lovely idea here, comparing them to the moon, and our meaning shines through loud and clear. About the only stumble I had was:
"rounded, rich glow, in the empty sky. To naked black, hidden from the eye." I had to read this bit a couple of times before I realised your grammar. To stop the hesitation, you could reword it with a verb in there (like "fading") That's only a very small thing, and only my opinion. I thought it waas excellent, probably too short for its potential.
I saw this as being religious ....erm i could be wrong ...But that was my interpretation ....Having said that im not overly religious myself ...but if this person who is lost but not gone ...and always comes back is in fact God...then my hat goes off to you ....This is beautiful ...I guess it could be about a loved one who has passed away ....But i instantly saw it as God....Id love to hear back from you what it was....Just to see how far off the mark i am ....Fantastic peice .... Blessed Be
beautiful visually I especially liked, "behind the ebony,erternal shine" beautiful visuals but a bit simple in tehnique, my interpretation wasn't as much an idea as a picture of the night, lovely
Submission Name: behind the ebony
