Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Riverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kera
    ASL Info:    18-f-NH
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 116/129/29
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1141
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406



    Description:
       no punctuation, so deal...I only wrote what was in my head, say what you will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Riverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    this river that goes for miles
    loved ones flow
    persuading me to join
    the ocean of suicide

    drop by drop
    from the void in my wrist
    I slowly entwine
    within the fiery river

    sounds fade
    to the only noise
    a dying beat
    slowly made

    a cruor image
    of what used to be
    and what
    will become




    Submitted on 2005-02-27 01:20:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      DAMN GOOD WRITE! More people need to comment on your stuff. So here you Go...lmao. uhh BTW this isnt Adam, it is Jesse...like you wouldnt know that. ;)
    | Posted on 2005-02-27 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]
      mkay i would just like to say i completly and utterly disagree with Justin.. unfortunatly, he does not have the experience or the understanding to see exactly the depth to this poem.. to most that would look through it the seemingly randomized thoughts tell a vauge story that only the most attentitive would understand.. however, from those that actually take the time to read this several things can be spotted..

    for one, the river itself seems to be your life.. a journey you have bled by every step you take..

    also adding the element of fire to this work helps to instigate hate or rage within this river of blood..

    again i could comment on the last but i will refrain from it since i'm going home now lol.. this was a great write Jesse..

    I love you -<@

    Adam
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    48443

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cannot Assimilate written by Daniel Barlow
    Forgetting You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    like any good spartan written by Daniel Barlow
    Bleeding part two written by MyPeriodical
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ahem written by Daniel Barlow
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sweet You written by Daniel Barlow
    Sun-meeting written by Daniel Barlow
    Spaces written by Daniel Barlow
    Terrified part three written by MyPeriodical
    what a thought could do to you written by Daniel Barlow
    Ardent written by saartha
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Exult written by saartha
    At The Bottom written by MyPeriodical
    Variety written by saartha
    Global Death Do Incite written by MyPeriodical
    Merge written by saartha
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    Lying Acceptance written by ForgottenGraves
    motivations, eclectic. written by Daniel Barlow
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Position written by Daniel Barlow
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    being direct, it's written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry